I don't know how it happened. One day I was sitting on top of the world with money, house cars and family then it all got taken away. My wife and step daughter took my 6 year old to the mall. they didn't buckle her in. they asked me to go but I said I was busy. My little girl went throught the windshield at over 60 km/hr. Of course I blamed them and said things I probably should not have said and so the marriage ended with her taking her kid and leaving the country after she emptied the bank accounts. I couldn't hold my job and lost it. I lost everything but I don't care about the stuff, I just want my little girl back. Every day I cry until it hurts. If I had gone with them, she would still be here. The guilt is killing me slowly and I just want it to end. I made a bag and I bought helium. Part of me wants to end it and go be with her and the other part of me wants to heal. As the days pass, the part that wants it to be over and the pain to stop is winning and I just can't take it any more. I have never been so lonely. No friends. No family. I haven't had a conversation with anyone in months. I just sit here and look at her pictures and think of all the things I'll never get to do. God I miss her so much. I just want the pain to end and it won't. We are not supposed to bury our children!!! I don't know what to do. I have paid counselors and they don't help. My "friends" have abandoned me - I guess I'm not real fun to be around. I just miss her so much. I think I am already dead but my heart won't stop beating.