I'm sad.

I feel sad. All the people I know are graduating from school or having great careers, buying homes, having families, traveling, being happy. I'm not happy at all. I haven't accomplished a single thing and everyone has surpassed me at everything. I'm a loser. I don't even want to show my face to any of th people I knew growing up or while I was in college. I feel ashamed that everyone has gotten someplace, and I'm in the same place. I feel like I've been cursed so that I never achieve anything no matter what I do. I hate where I am in life and I'm turning 28 next month with nothing to show for all these years. Nothing to offer my parents, who are so old now and in fair health they won't make it another three to five years.

See, I'm one of those bad people no one likes who no one cares would just die someday. I disappointed everyone and became nothing just as everyone thought. I'm a loser everyone would benefit if I was no longer a liability and a shame. I don't like myself and I don't have anything to bring to the world, I'm sure of it, or else life would be better for me.

 

I'm sad too. I start work tomorrow, my first 9-6 as an intern. I feel like something is ending, I feel sad and have anxiety, bad anxiety, so bad I want to throw up. I'm living in this city where I don't want to see anyone I graduated with or used to hangout with. I just got back from my lake house and my ex girlfriends dad was out at his house down the street. I miss her, I wonder if she ever thinks of me. I wish I had someone to share my highs and lows with. I wish I had someone to talk to. But I'm home alone.