I'm new to the site. Didn't know it existed. I'm ancient - somehow survived many years. Feeling very tired. Can't get it right. Just keep doing or saying things that get me into trouble. I don't mean to hurt other people. I have to leave my (crummy) job now because I can't face my colleagues after what i said to one of them. lost my rag. he was complaining about a sore shoulder. Wouldn't accept help (I'm a masseuse and healer - not joking! - I'm really good) said he wouldn't see a doctor. I'm diagnosed with terminal condition. It killed my sister and my mother. Stepfather won't contact me since I told him about my diagnosis. Partner got in touch with me after 14 years apart - blissfully happy for 4+ half months, then he died of heart failure. Lost my sister and my job and our home in the same year. Everyone sees it as so long ago - 2011, but it feels like yesterday. Not earning enough to live on - live with an elderly man who is starting to show signs of dementia. If anything happens to him I don't know what to do, I'll be homeless. Don't think I can face getting that far. Don't see any hope for my future. Don't see any way out. Want to join my man and my mother and sis. Feeling so alone. Cannot sleep - have tinnitus too. So tired. Had enough . Is anyone there please?