im scared of him [may trigger]

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by ela, May 15, 2011.

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  1. ela

    ela New Member

    i don't really know how it started; it just happened.
    the first time he ever seemed to threaten me and intimidate me was when we were swimming in my aunt's pool when i was probably 4 and he was 6.
    i didn't really know how to swim yet, so i just stuck to the shallow side of the pool. Everyone else like my cousins and mother were inside eating. he dragged me over to the deepest part of the pool. he was holding me up, but then he just let go and swam away. i was screaming and flailing my arms and legs but i just couldn't stay afloat. my cousins came out and "rescued" me.
    he told them i fell in, and no matter how much i tried to convince them otherwise, they didn't believe me.
    i know it doesn't seem like much, but it grew on.
    for many days at a time, he would beat me and threaten me. it scared me even more that he was so young but so violent towards me, and only me. when we would stay at my grandmother's house after school, he would constantly tease and hurt me.
    i remember one day, he thought i had stolen his video game. I was six, he was eight. he started punching my face when i denied it, practically breaking my nose. i just sat there crying and let him do it. then he pinned me on the floor and snaked his arms around my throat. it lasted for only what seemed to be a few minutes. he then spotted his game on the table. he got up and said "Oh. Found it. Sorry." I still wonder if it was just an excuse to hurt me.
    he continued to hurt me and deny it in front of my family. it escalated terribly once my parents divorced when i was eight and my dad moved out. he was then the "man" of the house. but real men don't hit women, do they?
    i would lock myself in the bathroom for hours when i got home from school because he would be angry for some reason.
    while i was locked in the bathrooms, he would stick large knives under the door to see my terrified reflection. all i saw was his smile.
    most of my family still doesn't believe me now that i'm 13, they just say he's too good for that, or that i'm just dreaming it.
    when will they see that i'm not a liar?
     
  2. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    Its a terrible situation you are in and you have tried to tell someone and they dont believe you. If your parent wont listen to you then you need to find someone else who you can trust. I really hope this doesnt continue it must be very frightening ! xxx
     
  3. Dulce

    Dulce Member

    Oh no! I'm so sorry, that's such a horrible situation.

    You need to tell someone - you need to sit down with your parents, and have them listen to you and let them know what's going on. You mentioned that your parents haven't been much help. Do you have any other trust guardians you could talk to? A counsellor at school? A teacher? Grandparents? An Aunt? Cousins, perhaps?

    I'm really sorry that this is happening, and my thoughts are with you. You need to bring this issue to the notice of someone who can help you.

    Good luck <3
     
  4. *kyle*

    *kyle* Well-Known Member

    your post makes me mad, it must be fustraiting that no one will believe you and that someone can do these things to you. i hope you find someone who can provide the help you need. best of luck
     
  5. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    First step is of course to tell your parents, but it seems that you have done that already. Next would to tell a trusted adult like a teacher a school or guidance counselor. You can always skip this step and tell the police, which is what I think you should do. The mere fact that he has used knives indirectly to intimidate you is all the reason you need. Your personal protection trumps silence and the loyalty to secrecy you may feel toward him.

    I am so sorry you have spent so many years being intimidated and made to be scared in your own home. If there is one place a person should feel safe it is in their own home. Gabriela, again I am so sorry that you are having to deal with all of this. I understand all too well the fear that you are feeling. If you ever need to talk privately feel free to PM me. :hug: 2 u
     
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