i'm scared of myself sometimes; are you?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by blackestocean, Oct 14, 2016.

  1. blackestocean

    blackestocean Member

    i deactivated my fb tonight without telling anyone. i got so sick of seeing someone constantly comment on other people's posts but never liking or commenting on mine. this sounds shallow but this person and i used to be tight friends. i flew into a rage the other night because i was so mad. i threw my favorite earrings against the wall and it took massive amounts of self control to not toss my mac book across the room. i just couldn't deal anymore with it. when i think about it when i'm driving i slam my hands repeatedly against the steering wheel.

    yeah, i need to find a doctor asap. my mind is a mess lately. got so bad i went to urgent care last weekend because i was terrified that if i went home i would kill myself.
  2. Aaron1F

    Aaron1F Well-Known Member

    Thing is when we are down like this small things seem like major issues.
    Scary thing too is I really no longer trust myself not to do silly things to myself as like you I'm tired and sick of pretending to be happy when all carved up inside.
    Sounds hard and I struggled with this too but got to try and be good to yourself and chill. This illness is progressive if not sorted early x
    Need help don't leave it to long like me for God sake.
  3. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    Social media is a lonely platform. I stopped using it over 10 years ago. I don't miss it. I felt the same as you, one person who I thought was my friend basically ignored me and it hurt my feelings too much. I think it's best to stay away from it. I hope you're doing better...xx
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Maybe anger management is what you need? If you are scared of yourself then that is a mighty big problem. Try and google coping mechanisms or stress relief or anger relief, while there are obviously no medicine for anger, therapy can make a huge difference to your quality of life. I am sorry you are feeling so low but glad you reached out here. You deserve help so go get it :)
    Frances M likes this.