I'm scared of myself

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by AstroAshton92, Dec 25, 2011.

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  1. AstroAshton92

    AstroAshton92 Active Member

    I feel that the decision to live or die is a great decision to make. And it should be yours regardless of how it affects anyone- It's your life. I don't feel like I chose to be here, not that I hadn't wanted to in the first place. I've become frustrated with this demanding state; it's much easier to watch things go by like they do in my dreams. And after seeing the movie "Waking Life," I've picked up a very valid point. Dreams are Dreams as long as they last, and you can say the same about life. The way that the world is today, all my dreams of singing and starting a family and fulfilling some things I'd like to see happen for the world are trickling down the pipes of the reality that I can't alone bend the universe to my will JUST so I can be happy. There are billions of people on this planet; a planet thats on the brink of destruction due to abuse and confusion. There is too much hate.
    I guess my point, is I don't understand why I have to participate on behalf of the human race, when it's blatantly obvious that it does not give a damn if I do either way....I don't feel that I'm being cynical, just objective. This world doesn't understand me and I don't understand it, though I'd really like to, I'm not going to force or fake understanding.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 25, 2011
  2. IntoTheWoods

    IntoTheWoods Guest

    Hi AstroAshton92 - yes I think life or death decisions are the ultimate ones we make - and therefore we need to guarantee that we are in the right state of mind to make them - I get what you write about life being confusing - I am feeling lost myself - but I am telling myself to just take a day at at time right now and if need be just an hour at a time.

    I know there are some great people on this site - and we care about what happens to you - I hope you are able to post some more of what is going on for you.

    Take care - Soup
  3. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    HI Ashton. it is the holidays. i for one would like very much to see you make it thru to the new year.. granted that is your choice but take some real care with it all..Jim
  4. AstroAshton92

    AstroAshton92 Active Member

    Thank You, It's encouraging, I've been on the fence all morning, but it's a comfort to know that I'm not facing someone who has a preset Ideal of me and what I'm like in their minds already. I will certainly try.
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