I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. I don't know who to call. I don't want to call anyone because I don't want them to hear me like this and I don't want a stranger to hear it either. I got dumped off at a dorm of a second rate college and I have no idea what to do now. Everyone keeps talking about the future but all I see is a dark black hole. I'm supposed to call and make an appointment with a psychiatrist and a psychologist but I'm scared of doing that. I don't know why. Today, I felt like I was going to die. The last thing I wanted to think about was writing a paper about my passion. I feel no passion. I have to spin some bullshit to get some bullshit grade for a bullshit class for my own bullshit life. I just want something to feel real that doesn't hurt.