Before, I was just deluding myself. Thinking over and over again in my head that this was just a stage, that I was really fine. That everyone goes through this. But now, I'm starting to realize that none of this is the truth. It's getting harder and harder for me to push on, my thoughts are getting darker and everything is falling apart, and it's scaring me. Like honest to god scaring me, I have never been more afraid in my life. Because I have NO idea what I'm going to end up doing next or when I'm going to lose my grip on the cliff it feels like I'm clinging to in my head. I'm so scared that finally I'm doing something I told myself I never would, talking about it. Please, I need help, I just don't know what to do. I'm so confused and I don't want someone to tell me that I have no right to feel this way, because I know there are people who have it worse than me.