I'm scared.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by xXRaeXx, Apr 30, 2013.

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  1. xXRaeXx

    xXRaeXx New Member

    Before, I was just deluding myself. Thinking over and over again in my head that this was just a stage, that I was really fine. That everyone goes through this. But now, I'm starting to realize that none of this is the truth. It's getting harder and harder for me to push on, my thoughts are getting darker and everything is falling apart, and it's scaring me. Like honest to god scaring me, I have never been more afraid in my life. Because I have NO idea what I'm going to end up doing next or when I'm going to lose my grip on the cliff it feels like I'm clinging to in my head.

    I'm so scared that finally I'm doing something I told myself I never would, talking about it. Please, I need help, I just don't know what to do. I'm so confused and I don't want someone to tell me that I have no right to feel this way, because I know there are people who have it worse than me.
     
  2. Just Spent

    Just Spent New Member

    I have similar feelings. My advice is to seek out a counselor. I could not turn to friends out of embarrassment, which may be my own hang up. I found that my counselor knows how to open up a "mental valve" and let me drain my thoughts which helps greatly. Just being able to talk to someone helps greatly. She is someone that doesn't judge and there is no worry of anything I say being revealed to people I know. Another reason I didn't choose a friend. I will not lie to you though....I have not told her about my darker thoughts if my situation doesn't eventually work out. For the time being this is helping me hold on. From one person in distress to another, I've found your mind is your own worst enemy when left alone. Dig deep and reach out to share with someone face to face. I know it's a tough step, but I feel it has helped me. Hold on.
     
  3. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    You have every right to feel the way you do. So no matter what anyone says, never listen to the idea that you don't. Talking about issues and things are a good way to work through the root of the problem. Perhaps a first step (if you haven't already) is set up a support network, with mental health teams where you are. Just having a support system in place can be enough of a boost to help you find your way through the darker times.

    Yes people may "have it worse" in a sense e.g situational. However, what really does that mean? Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, everyone has their tipping point, and everyone has their own problems, none greater or lesser than the next person. One thing to never do with mental health issues is comparing to others. We all deal with things are own way.

    As always though, you'll only get back what you put in, if you only put in 10% you'll only get that back.
     
  4. Marillion43

    Marillion43 Member

    I actually feel exactly the same. I actually feel like I'm mentally ill big time and no one around me has any idea or wants to know how sick I am. Although I have tried to talk to the couple of people in my life, the reaction is of either disgust or I get shunned because they don't want to hear a ngeative comment because they have enough problems in their life. So I now say nothing.

    You have every right to feel like you feel, everybody has a right to feel like they do. So you are not alone. Thank You for posting because you have made me feel not alone.....because where I am in life, I am alone. Sincere wishes to you.
     
  5. RenoBill

    RenoBill Active Member

    I feel the same way. The friends I could initially talk to, now don't want to hear anything about my being anxious or depressed or joint pain, etc. All they want to hear from other people is how wonderful life is. Well, right now mine isn't, so I just don't talk about it with them. In fact, don't talk to them much at all any more. My therapist seems to have run out of ideas, our sessions have turned more into bullshit sessions. So I'm here in this forum, people get it here. But this won't be enough for much longer. I've about had enough, near the end of my rope.
     
  6. codemind

    codemind Member

    Therapists can only do so much, they will never give a solution. I just lost everything in my life I care about and I'm seeing a therapist weekly but that doesn't solve the problems. She cannot bring my parents back (both died), stop my divorce or make my children talk to me again. And friends and family? People who have never seen things dark because they are in an impossible situation will never understand why someone is driven to the edge and sees suicide as the only way out. The only thing everybody in my family wants is that I go and see a doctor, I refused and said I needed them to help me but they don't want that. So I'm in a situation with no end...
     
  7. Mcmanus

    Mcmanus Active Member

    Your friends and family cannot help you, they are not equipped and not professionals. You need to be able to speak with an objective professional to unload with freedom. If you unload on family and friends I think you will alienate them and end up feeling guilty. That was my experience.
    Hang on. Sleep. Go for a walk.
    If you have the chance watch a bird in a bird bath. Sounds ridiculous I know. But it can change perspective and draw a smile. It has for me and I am hanging by a thread.
    Please try.
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    A professional have the skills the knowledge to help you Your right hun reaching out talking releasing some of the pain and thoughts does help. I hope you can at one time be totally honest with your worker hun so she can help you more ok Hugs
     
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