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I'm scared

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by amenokomoriuta, Feb 16, 2014.

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  1. amenokomoriuta

    amenokomoriuta New Member

    I think I'm going to kill myself. Really soon.

    I've been way too sad for way too long and nothing ever changes no matter how hard I try to fix it. I can't even remember what actually being happy feels like. I used to have patches of happiness that would last a few months but I haven't had any in about a year, and nothing helps. I'm stuck at home away from college and it's manageable when I'm at school because my friends are there but here it's only my parents and they make me want to kill myself more than anything. They keep threatening that I won't be able to go back and if that's true then I'll definitely end it as soon as I possibly can because I've been going through so much shit just to get out of here and away from them. If everything I've been through wasn't worth anything and there's nothing to look forward to then I don't really feel like I have a choice. There are just so many problems in my life and none of them ever get solved and maybe some people would miss me a little but I don't know how much longer I can stand this constant pain. I just want everything to be over.

    The truth is I kind of want help but there's no one to talk to. I can't call a hotline, all the chats are busy, and my friends wouldn't understand. I told the one person who I thought understood me that I was feeling really upset and he just kind of brushed it off. I've been trying to go see a psychologist or something but I don't know how and my mom's being really unhelpful.

    I don't know what to do anymore except die. I just hate being alive.
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    You could go and check yourself into a hospital. That might help. Calm you down. Get referred to a doctor and/or therapist. Take some meds. It sounds like you could use a good time out. You wouldn't necessarily even have to tell your parents. Don't underestimate the impact you have on the lives of others...
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 16, 2014
  3. Hope1212

    Hope1212 Member

    Hi there. Try looking for a clinic or call 911 and ask if they can send a crisis team to help you. They could refer you to either a hospital or emergency services that can get you some help. Also, keep trying the chats, they can be busy, but eventually you can usually get through.
  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi. I am SO sorry this is happening to you. First, why are they saying you may not be able to go back to school?

    can you go to your family doctor? Call tomorrow? Would that be possible? Just tell him or her that you are feeling depressed and need some help. Tell him or her more than that if you can. The important thing is to reach out. You did that by coming here. Thats great. This is a good community. Post as often here as possible.

    So, can you call your family doctor's office tomorrow and get an emergency apt? Usually if people call right then they open, they have same day apts that they save out for people who need immediate help.

    You say you cant call a hotline. And all the chats are busy. Can you keep trying the chats? just try and try? If you do not feel like you can make it through another hour, day, night then please try to call the crisis center. The very most important thing is for you to stay alive. I think you know thats your very first job.

    when you make it through to when you get back to school then can you go to a school counselor. yes? But first you have to be well enough to get back to school. So how about calling the doctor's office tomorrow morning? Say its very important. And you really have to see him or her. would that work? And please keep trying those chats that are busy? Just try and try. If you need help tonight please do call the crisis line even though you say you cannot. Because I think if you can make it through this week then you can get back to school and I bet you can find help there. What do you think? AND please do keep posting here. As much as you want and can. :hug:

    just an added thought (edited in) . When I was in a similar situation to you, I turned to a trusted family member who had common sense. She helped me to find help. She knew my mother didnt have the common sense to help me. My father had already passed away. So he could not help. Is there an adult locally who you could reach out to? Someone who could support you in finding help locally? I can feel that you are a good person who deserves help. Yes, I really can feel it. I dont say that often to people.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 17, 2014
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