i'm scared

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by iCu, Feb 28, 2016.

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  1. iCu

    iCu Member

    I've thought about it before as I've been dealing with mental illness for a very long time. But I haven't thought about it the same way as I am now. I'm not scared of it anymore and that's frightening me.

    These thoughts used to be a response to very tough situations where I was driven by being upset.

    But it feels like everything has just chipped away from me and I really feel hopeless. It just really seems like the solution to everything.

    I'm holding back because I'm scared of what it would do to other people around me but at the same time, it just seems like the best thing for me to do and its scaring me how willing I am to do it now.

    It means I won't have to feel trapped anymore. I won't have trouble breathing anymore. I won't be sad anymore. I won't feel anxious anymore. It will all just go away.
     
  2. sahel

    sahel SF Supporter

    Dear iCu,

    I don't know you but I mean it when I call you my dear, because I can relate to what you've written and how you feel.
    I read all these and I can see the temptation to get rid of all of it with one single solution, but believe me, this is not the solution. When we are convinced that we cannot get rid of our problems, or we cannot find a solution if any exists, we are tempted to find a short cut to avoid facing/solving them. But you know what? this is not an option, it just seems easier when we are tired, but it's not a solution.

    I am writing this and I am asking you to be as strong as you can and get whatever help that you can to find the real solution, whatever it is, you are the one who can find it. I do have an idea of how hard it can be, but I know that you will find the strength:)
    I am asking you to fight your battle not just for yourself but for everybody, I am just one random person in a corner of this world and I am asking you not to give up, I don't even know you and it matters to me more than what you imagine. I am asking it as humbled and as kindly as possible, I know it's not easy, but you are right about its effect on others. When you have this concern, it makes you even a better person and it's so lame for the life not to have you. I hope thinking about it's affect on people who actually know you and don't want to miss an awesome person on their lives, gives you extra bit of strength to fight it. Best of luck with my all heart, dear.
     
    AdamTide likes this.
  3. I know where you are at I was there no too long ago and I too was scared of how willing I was to do it. You can get out of it. It may take time and will be hard but just push through. You can do it! Seek medical help if you haven't already.
     
  4. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I am sorry you are struggling with this.

    Like it's already been said, it might seem like the easy way out, but it's not.
    Try to use the fact that this scares you, to fight, fight for yourself to get away from that.
    Reach out and allow yourself to be helped to get better

    *hugs*
     
  5. AdamTide

    AdamTide Well-Known Member

    You CAN get through this. There IS reason to continue living. There is good to be had in life. Try not to let the sadness overcome you. Cry if you need to cry. Scream if you need to scream. It helps to get it OUT. You mean more to people than you know. PM me if I can help in any way. I'll be there I will be your friend. -Darius Rucker
     
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