i'm scared

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by iCu, Feb 28, 2016.

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  1. iCu

    iCu Member

    I've thought about it before as I've been dealing with mental illness for a very long time. But I haven't thought about it the same way as I am now. I'm not scared of it anymore and that's frightening me.

    These thoughts used to be a response to very tough situations where I was driven by being upset.

    But it feels like everything has just chipped away from me and I really feel hopeless. It just really seems like the solution to everything.

    I'm holding back because I'm scared of what it would do to other people around me but at the same time, it just seems like the best thing for me to do and its scaring me how willing I am to do it now.

    It means I won't have to feel trapped anymore. I won't have trouble breathing anymore. I won't be sad anymore. I won't feel anxious anymore. It will all just go away.
     
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Welcome @iCu to the forum. Suicide is not the answer. Have you reached out to a doctor or counsellor and told them about you're feelings. *hugs* Take care and stay safe.
     
  3. iCu

    iCu Member

    I've wanted to. For a long time but it feels like I have no time to find a doctor or someone to talk to. It also feels like there's no one to talk to. That's why I looked for this forum.
     
  4. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    *hugs* Any friends or family to help support you? I'm glad you found the forum. Feel free to pop into chat and say hi. Keep talking/ranting.
     
  5. iCu

    iCu Member

    I've discussed my issue before with family and friends as I've had these issues since I was very young. Some will act as if this is a huge burden on them. That I'm being selfish for not thinking of them. As if I'm blaming them and now I'm making them feel bad. While on the other hand, with people who I do see care, I can see the pain in their eyes and I can't do that again.

    With this more recent situation, I've been extra agitated and it's like I can't talk to anyone without snapping.

    I just know that if I manage to get a <mod edit - methods> in my hand, I won't hesitate to make do with it.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 28, 2016
  6. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    What about writing it all down. That way it will be easier to tell a professional when you decide to do so. *hugs* If you want to talk, feel free to PM me.
     
  7. fosty

    fosty Well-Known Member

    I'd definitely recommend telling your GP that you are considering harming yourself. I did that and I was forwarded to a mental health team and they were very helpful
     
  8. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum, iCu.

    I really think you should go to your GP and get moved on into some mental health. You need some proper help to deal with this, you deserve as much. as kcho said try to write it down. Write down what you feel, what you're thinking about and what has happened. Take that to your GP and let them help refer you to some proper help.

    You are always welcome to use this forum, and I hope you find some support! My inbox is always open as well.

    But I really think you deserve to care enough about yourself to get yourself some help.

    Take care of yourself!
     
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