im scared

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by ckeppa, Dec 2, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. ckeppa

    ckeppa Active Member

    i want to die so bad. its the only way to end this FUCKING PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!
    ive gone crazy, i cant hold on anymore. its so hard to live. but damn hard to die. im sorry i just need somewhere to vent....
     
  2. LostSpirit

    LostSpirit Well-Known Member

    Vent away,,,,i can no longer stand the pain either
     
  3. ckeppa

    ckeppa Active Member

    thank you, excuse me then...;p
    i miss her so much...i miss having friends. i miss being happy. i feel i have shit to live for and everyday i make my life worse....im having alot of panic attacks now and there scaring me so bad it makes me want to pull the trigger. my stomach is in constant pain, i always feel like the walls around me are closing in...im sick of living like this. im convinced ive gone to far...ive had depression since i was a wee boi..had anxiety attacks at school everyday so i droped out. and in the past 2 years ive developed depersonalization disorder and panic attacks. *difference between anxiety and panic is im spazin over school and spazin over suiside* panic hurts tho...feels like im going to die. anxiety attacks just made me thow up and not able to eat...still hasnt quite lost its magic either. i cover up everything by smoking ALOT of weed....which has always helped...but only for so long. ive got to kill myself...but i want to get away first, go to cali or canada and clear my head as much as i can. and if i still feel the same, kill myself there..that way my family doesnt kno i shot myself. thatd suck, i just want them to think i was lost er somthin. im pretty sure im going to do it, i just want to go out with a smile, havnt had one in a long time.
     
  4. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    it's ok to be scared :hug:
     
  5. ckeppa

    ckeppa Active Member

    i need a hug :(
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :hug:
     
  7. nagisa

    nagisa Chat & Forum Buddy Staff Alumni

    :hug: :arms: :hug:
     
  8. ckeppa

    ckeppa Active Member

    thank you <3

    but im still alone :( :depressed

    anyone willing to shoot me for 1000 dollars?
    thatd be nice
     
  9. ckeppa

    ckeppa Active Member

    sry hit a bumb there;p
    im just so lonly.....
    and i got shit to do...need a hobby
     
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    why not go into the chatroom hun?:biggrin:
     
  11. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    :hug:

    try to really take in the hugs.
    we're here with you. You're not alone!
    I agree with Lynn hop into chat every once in a while.
    And keep posting in this thread to let us know how you're doing. And if you need hugs, make damn sure you let us know! We are good at giving lots of hugs :giggle:

    :arms:
     
  12. ckeppa

    ckeppa Active Member

    haha thank ya for being such sweethearts,
    and i drop into chat here and there. but it gets to crowded most of the time.
    but its friday night...and im home. depressed and alone.
    i really want to kill myself but hope unfortunitly keeps me alive....i keep hoping somebody will call....or that ill hopefully find someone to love...all this hope is useless but it wont leave me be so i can take care of myself. all i can do is spark another bowl and wait for work tommarow. if i dont get my shit together soon im going to lose what little i have *which consitst of a large bong collection,a tv,bar,and computer* WHHoOoaa what a list to live for...not a human in it. sigh...it seems everytime i try to make a happy life. its gets 10 times worse. if all i have to look forward to in life is minimun wage, weed and tv than im done. this game sucks.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.