I'm just so scared that I will never get better. I have been fighting these gremlins since I was 18 years old but over the years they have just got worse (I am 43 now). A few weeks ago I had to go to A&E as I was suicidal and scared what I might do. I tried the CMHT and GP first only to be told there was no one who could see me. I was supported for two weeks by the Home Treatment Team but have now been left on my own again to 'get on with it'. I am on medication - Venlafaxine and Chlorpromazine - but they don't seem to be lifting me enough. I was doing so well before this last bout of depression. I wasn't quite where I wanted to be but I was achieving towards my goal. I want to be back there again so I can continue on my road to recovery.