i'm scared..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by littleturtle, Feb 14, 2010.

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  1. littleturtle

    littleturtle Member

    when i was younger i was full of hope. imagining the great life i would lead when i get older, and the man i would become one day. now i'm lying on my bed thinking how stupid and naive i was. i'm a failure. i'm a fukking loser. there was a point in my life where i believed in myself, but that's long gone.

    life's one big fukking coincidence.. and i got fukked over
     
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I don't think your a failure...I think you are in a slump because of the unemployment rate.. How do you plan a future when you have no room for advancement..There are millions out of work all together..How about just finding one thing each day that is positive and build on it..You should bank your positive thoughts.. That way when a negative one creeps in you can wash it away with one of the positive thoughts your banking..I hope you see the light to pull yourself out of the darkness..We are here for you..Welcome to the forums!!
     
  3. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome to the forum. I like Stranger's idea a lot. We tend to focus on the negative and forget the positive things we have going for us. It may be hard to let this advice in right now because you are smack in the middle of your depression but it is sound advice for any one especially those of us struggling with depression/ depressive thoughts.

    Can I ask why you think you are a loser? And what is your definition of a "winner"?

    I am struggling with the same issue, plus a few more, and so feel your pain all to well. I know posting helps me so I encourage you to continue. You will see we are a very caring lot here and many will reach out to you, if not right away then in a short while.

    I keep having the feeling that I lost me as I too one believed in myself and there was no stopping me. How to get me back is what I am working on real hard right now. I wish us both luck..the answer is out there we just have to hang tough till we find it.

    Please know you are not alone and I am glad you found us.

    Love Bambi
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You can still have those dreams those positive thoughts use them to push you forward out of the sadness. It is okay to dream it is times are hard right now but things will have to get better even if you have to put out a thousand resumes do it. Keep dreaming okay
     
  5. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    we are here for you.
     
  6. Glenn Cocoa

    Glenn Cocoa Member

    I'm scared too. I feel like I'm the only one who cares about what's going on with my family. Nothing bad is happening per se, but I'm the one who cares if we get NSF charges at the bank, I'm the one who had to enforce cancelling of cable because it's an expense we don't need right now. No one else loses sleep over any of the daily/weekly/monthy hardships we go through, or cares how difficult are the choices I need to make every day.

    I've got major depressive disorder and general anxiety disorder and I was hospitalized for these things when I tried to hurt myself last February. Now, a year later, I'm stablized (stabilizing?) on my meds for the most part, but I am not getting support at home. Just because I'm the mom doesn't mean I don't need my family to help me with my stress levels and concerns.

    Every day I have to convince myself that things will get better and it's getting tiresome and mentally exhausting. I see my shrink once a month and take my meds but I feel like my marriage and financial future are in ruins and I'm the only one who gives a shit. Well, except for the nice comment my spouse gave me earlier, about how I don't contribute to the household. That was like a punch in the face because while it's true I don't work outside the home, I run a small business from my home and I'm doing my best to run it debt-free and bring in a bit of spending money. But it doesn't seem to count.

    This is my first post.
     
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