It's been some really bad days lately and now I'm so depressed that I'm feeling physically sick. Suicidal urges are so strong, if I move out of this sofa I might do something to hurt myself badly. I don't know why I'm writing this, but I'm really scared right now. I don't expect anyone to care because I know I'm not worth it, but I have to try to reach out. I don't have anyone to talk to now, I can't reach the only two people I talk to that know that it's this bad.