My Father committed suicide and I have forever been angry at him... But what is the point in life? I need something more! I know im not going to get it... Its just a waste of time. Hopefully I am dying anyway... My Grandfather had suffered heart problems and over the past year I have been getting chest pains and palpitations along with numbness in my left arm, I know I should go and get myself checked out but im scared... Part of me just wants to die in my sleep or suddenly! The only thing that scares me is the pain that my mother and twin brother will be in! I really dont know whether I should sort myself out... Or just let fate take its course. I already feel that its clear that I'm not meant to be in this world for long... I have sort of excepted the heart problem and begun to come to terms with it! Im stuck, I dont know what to do!