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Im scared!

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My Father committed suicide and I have forever been angry at him... But what is the point in life?

I need something more! I know im not going to get it... Its just a waste of time.

Hopefully I am dying anyway... My Grandfather had suffered heart problems and over the past year I have been getting chest pains and palpitations along with numbness in my left arm, I know I should go and get myself checked out but im scared...

Part of me just wants to die in my sleep or suddenly! The only thing that scares me is the pain that my mother and twin brother will be in!

I really dont know whether I should sort myself out... Or just let fate take its course.

I already feel that its clear that I'm not meant to be in this world for long... I have sort of excepted the heart problem and begun to come to terms with it!

Im stuck, I dont know what to do!

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Hi fabian nice to see you reaching out here. YOu have a twin too so do i
I have a twin sister and i know without a doubt if i took my life or i dies she would feel my death too. YOu have to look after you okay get in and get checked out. get you depression looked after as well. Your twin and your mother will always suffer if you leave I am sorry for your loss of your father Your anger is apart of grieving so let it out okay You are mean't for this world just as much as the rest of us. You are right your twin and mother need you to stay here hugs


Staff Alumni
Please go to a doctor as your pain may be unrelated to a heart condition and can be treated...you do not want to be disabled! also, can you talk to your twin how you are feeling and maybe get a little relief? Please take care of yourself...J
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