i'm scaring myself

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by libby, Apr 17, 2016.

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  1. libby

    libby New Member

    lately i've been feeling ugly and useless
    my dad is chronically ill and i'm one of the main caretakers
    it's just all so overwhelming and stressful to have to hear their aches and pains and fight over their own sadness when i'm sad too
    i used to be an artist i used to love to write and to sing and dance
    now i just feel like none of it matters.

    i'm a college student. i hate school. i hate how pointless it all feels.

    and today....i actually stared at a <Mod Edit, Methods> and staring at it as well...
    i think i'm too much of a coward to actually do anything
    but it did happen.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 17, 2016
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    *hugs* @libby welcome to the forum
    What about reaching out to a school counsellor?
    Make sure to take care of yourself while you are taking care of your dad.
  3. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    If it did happen maybe its a good idea to call the crisis hotline and see what they say as cant see what the edited parts mods cut out.

    If you need help/feedback and not comfortable with those hotlines this forum chatrooms are also helpful too

    Good Luck
  4. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hey Libby, I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, it's a difficult situation to be a caretaker at any age never mind being so young. You'll feel a lot of new feelings that you've never felt before, helplessness, depression even guilt, but these are all normal for the situation. But you will make it through this, just do the best you can and try and make time to get some rest yourself, your love of art and everything will return. This is an overwhelming life changing event you're facing, just be gentle with yourself. I hope there are others helping out too and there may even be some help available through some of the caregiving services in your area, check online and see what you can find. Take care of yourself
    ThePhantomLady likes this.
  5. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Hi, and welcome to the forum.

    I'm sorry to hear what is going on. And I'm sorry about your father. All of these feelings are natural in your situation, but that doesn't make them any easier.

    Could you talk to the school counselor as a start and tell them how you feel? Maybe you'd be better off with taking some time off of college until you get yourself and all of this under control?

    Do you have anyone to talk to about these things?

    Please do be kind to you, and don't forget yourself in taking care of your dad. You matter!
    Brian777 likes this.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Libby @libby it doesn't have to be this way. See your school counsellor/opsychologist and make them aware of what is going on and how you are feeling. I think that would be beneficial to you and remember you are just as important as everyone else! I'm glad you found and decided to join this forum, you can meet great people here with similar stories! Big hugs xx
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