I'm so lost right now. On so many different things.
My personal life has just hit to the lowest fucking point.
My partner, and best friend of almost 2 decades, is an addict. He got clean 5 years ago and has since relapsed recently. On top of this - my friends seem to not understand how fucking hurt I am, how scared I am that he's on the road to self-destruction to the point he's going to die. I've burst into tears and it feels like they just brush over it, or feel like I shouldn't care. I can't talk to strangers or people I don't trust 100% because the situation is so complicated and complex that it can put people in danger, including myself.
I feel like I have nothing right now. My family doesn't understand - including the one family member who is an addict himself. My partner is *not* a normal addict. It's not a normal situation and I just feel like no one GETS that. And I can't even explain why no one gets it, because of the complicated safety issue.
My very few friends who DO know of the situation, don't seem to care how I'm feeling, and that hurts most of all. I feel like they expect me to stop whining, when they're really the only ones I have - and yet they apparently don't want to be.
I'm fed up at this point. Well and truly. I feel like I have no choice but to sit here and watch him die and I can't even express how much that makes me want to join him...
My personal life has just hit to the lowest fucking point.
My partner, and best friend of almost 2 decades, is an addict. He got clean 5 years ago and has since relapsed recently. On top of this - my friends seem to not understand how fucking hurt I am, how scared I am that he's on the road to self-destruction to the point he's going to die. I've burst into tears and it feels like they just brush over it, or feel like I shouldn't care. I can't talk to strangers or people I don't trust 100% because the situation is so complicated and complex that it can put people in danger, including myself.
I feel like I have nothing right now. My family doesn't understand - including the one family member who is an addict himself. My partner is *not* a normal addict. It's not a normal situation and I just feel like no one GETS that. And I can't even explain why no one gets it, because of the complicated safety issue.
My very few friends who DO know of the situation, don't seem to care how I'm feeling, and that hurts most of all. I feel like they expect me to stop whining, when they're really the only ones I have - and yet they apparently don't want to be.
I'm fed up at this point. Well and truly. I feel like I have no choice but to sit here and watch him die and I can't even express how much that makes me want to join him...