I'm sick and tired of this and I'm given up definitely.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ace, Aug 7, 2010.

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  1. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    I tried again tried everything the belief you name it only to come to the conclusion of just having decided enough is enough.I've decided that's it to really do what i have to and go as soon as I can,I've tried every little thing.I'm tired of the years of endless pain trying to fight the conditions,I can't stand it anymore I just want out.I'm sick of constantly being disappointed,but not going to blame anything just try to go and disappear as soon as I can anyway possible.
     
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I hear how tired you feel of it all right now and it feels so overwhelming and wretched. I've been here many years and have seen you make many similar threads to this, and yet your inner strength always pulls you through, no matter how tired you feel. Its in there; the strength is in you not matter how wretched things feel now.

    Do you have a crisis management plan or anything like that, or anyone you are supposed to call when you feel this wretched?

    Has anything happened recently to disappoint you?

    Just try to focus on this minute, whatever 'this minute' is at any given time.

    Keep fighting and keep talking if it helps.
     
  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Whenever I tried and tried, I found out what I was trying to make happen was what other people need to do for themselves. Is this what is happening with you?

    What's happening for you right now?

    :hug:
     
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi ace. Please don't give up man. 'If at first you don't succeed, try try again.' You have to keep trying ace. That's what life is all about. :hug:
     
  5. Blue_Sky

    Blue_Sky Well-Known Member

    I know that feeling and it's not easy to hear this but something i've learned is everything passes, nothing is permanent, life is never static. Just keep trying, even if i have to drag myself through life, there's eventually an end anyway.
     
  6. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    It's been happening for a very,very long time now and it's obvious all the conditions have gradually worsened as time has gone on even with treatment.It was never this bad the ocd,Depression,Anxiety and Bdd it's become virtually impossible now just being awake.just so tired of it all years on end and to me nothing ever helps and pointless existing really..
     
  7. Blue_Sky

    Blue_Sky Well-Known Member

    Sometimes things get worse before they get better. I have been dealing with a lot of issues and I never believed I would get better because I never knew anything different. I've dealt with severe anxiety for my entire life since I was around 4, developing into full blown panic and depression very early in life plus strange paranoias, and possibly insanity believing myself to be a different species besides human...I can't even believe the thoughts I used to have. I used to not even care about getting better I just wanted to die. The most frustrating thing is the enigma of it, I cannot for the life of me figure out where it all came from. Sometimes I wonder if I had a taste of hell, or maybe hell is just something self created. I feel like a light has been turned on and I see so much clearer now, it was a really long time of misery for me , but i learned a lot from it and I honestly wouldn't trade what I know now for anything. I believe problems are lessons we have to learn, and you can find the answers if you just go within and ask yourself, nobody else can help you but you. I am not trying to simplify these things, it doesn't happen easily and it's still taking me time and i still struggle with it, but coming from where I was to where I am now it is amazing to me. I was really coming from the bottom of a dark pit and complete darkness. I hope you come to your own realization some day. I am also just saying all this to everyone else here since I cannot reply to every post. Just keep the faith and be persistent if you want to know and be open to any possibility.
     
  8. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    I understand you Blue I pretty much know what the problem is or what they're,but know it's difficult to get over them on my own.I do know why they have been difficult of course and why perhaps they've been such ongoing problems and the rest.So it's been years of hell but I always try to stop short of sounding like I'm feeling sorry for myself and the like.

    I didn't or would never of imagined such conditions can get so bad,but then again who does if they haven't really been so deeply in trouble with them.I'm still here I don't know what's going to happen,it's really just so taxing you know on everything.
     
  9. Black Beauty

    Black Beauty Well-Known Member

    What do you do with your life? Do you work? Go to school? Have a general hobby like sports or music?
     
  10. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    I've been on leave from work due to the breakdown again,tried returning several times but struggled.So as much as I try I do things,motivation and desire is so hard these days.So pretty overwhelmed with everything really.
     
  11. Black Beauty

    Black Beauty Well-Known Member

    So what's making you overwhelmed then?
     
  12. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    It's really everything the Ocd,the body dysmorphic disorder the anxiety and the rotten depression.I can't stand it anymore they're all that powerful and no matter what I've tried it hasn't worked,I'm just fed up with everything even tired of trying or bothering anymore.I struggle to even get off the bed as soon as I awake I have this tremendous sadness already.
     
  13. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    I've had OCD, as well and got through it. What did you try up until this point to get rid of it?
     
  14. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Please don't give up ace. It's not your time to go yet. :hug:
     
  15. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    CBT lots of it with my Psychiatrist and Psychologists,books,you name it.The problem is the Bdd-Body dysmorphic disorder which is so bad now and together with the Ocd and depression are a disaster.I have no hope inside me anymore,it's just a real nightmare would rather be gone really see no point in keep going anyway.
     
  16. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    I had a very bad case of OCD. It was so bad, in the beginning I couldn't do much of anything anymore as even doing everyday things was a challenge. It was that bad.

    But I got through it. CBT worked for me. At least my approach which I found out later resembled CBT worked for me as I never really followed any official CBT program.

    OCD is a nightmare, yes. It's a terrible thing. If you ask me the trick is to get to a point where you no longer feel the urge to do whatever it is that your form of OCD sort of dictates you to do now by slowly starting to stop initially. Just don't do it once. Then another time and another time...increasing the frequency of this over the weeks/months. In doing so you get used to not doing it and you also find, as you go along, that the thoughts you get which sort of push you in the wrong direction are not to be taken seriously, so to speak. But that's something that takes a while to achieve. It can be done, though.

    So I'd advise you to do CBT but since you already tried this...I can't really give any other advice on the subject other than this as I'm not really familiar with other approaches to getting rid of it.
     
  17. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thanks alot Sapphire if I can really build up the urge tonight I will try something or surely tomorrow,I'm tired or it all don't want to live just want the end now.
     
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