i am sick of people telling me it'll be alright,, im sick of people making out they understand when they dont,,, i dont want people to understand,,,im just ashamed.
im sick of people saying the stress of the court case must feel overwhelming,,,,,,,
im sick of people telling me how frustrated i must feel,, im sick of people saying i must feel so hurt, so betrayed, so alone,,,
im sick of people comparing me to other people,,,
its been tearing away at me for so long,,,,,
it isnt any of that i feel,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i simpley feel numb
ive tried,, ive hung on for months,,,,,,,in those few months ive tried everything to inject a little life into me,, hell i even walked on burning embers, i did a fire walk and a glass walk,,,,i passed my bike test and got a huge sexy super sports bike (that i use for nde's)
ive done and tried as many difrent things as i can, trying each time to get some enthusiasm (which i do find i might add) and desire for life.....
for it soon starts to wain,,, it simpley isnt enough,, none of it is enough to save me from this pit of sh~it ive got myself in,,,
everyday i smile
everyday i laugh
everyday i wish i was dead
im sick of people saying the stress of the court case must feel overwhelming,,,,,,,
im sick of people telling me how frustrated i must feel,, im sick of people saying i must feel so hurt, so betrayed, so alone,,,
im sick of people comparing me to other people,,,
its been tearing away at me for so long,,,,,
it isnt any of that i feel,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i simpley feel numb
ive tried,, ive hung on for months,,,,,,,in those few months ive tried everything to inject a little life into me,, hell i even walked on burning embers, i did a fire walk and a glass walk,,,,i passed my bike test and got a huge sexy super sports bike (that i use for nde's)
ive done and tried as many difrent things as i can, trying each time to get some enthusiasm (which i do find i might add) and desire for life.....
for it soon starts to wain,,, it simpley isnt enough,, none of it is enough to save me from this pit of sh~it ive got myself in,,,
everyday i smile
everyday i laugh
everyday i wish i was dead