I'm sinking again.....I feel a sharp pain in my stomach. I fell in love with a girl who attended the school where I taught. She was 17 and I was 43. Now I'm going to lose my credential after quitting my job rather than be fired. I'm such a fucking disgrace. It was love. But even though she was never student, she was technically in my care since I was the adult, the figure of authority and she was a minor. The love I have for teaching is immeasurable and now it's gone because I'm an emotional wreck who responded to kindness and admiration by blurring and then crossing boundaries. I want to die because it's hitting me just how much I deserve to lose my credential and never teach again. There was no excuse. I should have distanced myself. I'm weak and a weak person shouldn't teach. Reading the allegations against me that were made to the commission, I sound like a creep. I wish I could disappear.