I'm sinking again

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lazarus70, Sep 8, 2016.

  1. Lazarus70

    Lazarus70 Active Member

    I'm sinking again.....I feel a sharp pain in my stomach.

    I fell in love with a girl who attended the school where I taught. She was 17 and I was 43. Now I'm going to lose my credential after quitting my job rather than be fired. I'm such a fucking disgrace. It was love. But even though she was never student, she was technically in my care since I was the adult, the figure of authority and she was a minor. The love I have for teaching is immeasurable and now it's gone because I'm an emotional wreck who responded to kindness and admiration by blurring and then crossing boundaries. I want to die because it's hitting me just how much I deserve to lose my credential and never teach again. There was no excuse. I should have distanced myself. I'm weak and a weak person shouldn't teach. Reading the allegations against me that were made to the commission, I sound like a creep. I wish I could disappear.
  2. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere SF Pro SF Supporter

    Sorry to hit you even further into the hole. You thought with your second head didn't you? I am not here to spoon feed you sympathy for your actions but the pain oh yeah it gotta hurt but remember this, you fucked up now own up to the music and feeling all of that remorse due to the fact that you got caught?

    Man up and pay the price and start to heal from this at the point forward. I am not one bit sorry for your actions but I'm feeling your pain and humiliation/embarrassment- no one wants to go through this at all! Remember you are a human being and what you do to make amends makes you a better person!

    A life changing experience it is for real, maybe figure out how to incorporate your passion for teaching, like college level classes or english as second language classes for people trying to learn things.
  3. Lazarus70

    Lazarus70 Active Member

    An oversimplification but I understand that will be everyone's reaction. Nonetheless, thank you for the advice.