Recently I've been having the overwhelming urge to cut again. The last time I cut was January 18th, not very long at all but coming from someone who used to make hundreds of cuts a night, is pretty good in my eyes. But recently the act of me being happy and check doesn't cut it anymore. I made it thus long acting like my recent breakup and job loss and possibly failing my senior year and probably not being able to get into any decent college didn't bother me. But I can't do it anymore. Since I've lost all of my friends as a result of the breakup (All my friends choose my ex over me because I'm the bad druggie), I can't talk to anyone on a regular basis and my counselor isn't really a help, just more of someone to vent to. I've been slipping and getting this huge urge to cut. Probably going to end up being tonight sometime, I just can't help it anymore. I try listening to music but it isn't really helping anymore either. All the depression I pushed down over the past few weeks has caught up with me now. The only hope I have really is my friend telling me that when he gets out of the air force in four years I can crash with him and we can just sit at his place doing drugs all day. Which is sad. I do drugs to keep me temporarily happy but I've run out of money now, which is probably why I haven't cut. I would take <Mod Edit: Drugs>, drink a lot. But dinner u have no money, I have no drugs to keep me above water.