I'm slipping..

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by w0lf, Feb 15, 2015.

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  1. w0lf

    w0lf Member

    Recently I've been having the overwhelming urge to cut again. The last time I cut was January 18th, not very long at all but coming from someone who used to make hundreds of cuts a night, is pretty good in my eyes. But recently the act of me being happy and check doesn't cut it anymore. I made it thus long acting like my recent breakup and job loss and possibly failing my senior year and probably not being able to get into any decent college didn't bother me. But I can't do it anymore. Since I've lost all of my friends as a result of the breakup (All my friends choose my ex over me because I'm the bad druggie), I can't talk to anyone on a regular basis and my counselor isn't really a help, just more of someone to vent to. I've been slipping and getting this huge urge to cut. Probably going to end up being tonight sometime, I just can't help it anymore. I try listening to music but it isn't really helping anymore either. All the depression I pushed down over the past few weeks has caught up with me now. The only hope I have really is my friend telling me that when he gets out of the air force in four years I can crash with him and we can just sit at his place doing drugs all day. Which is sad. I do drugs to keep me temporarily happy but I've run out of money now, which is probably why I haven't cut. I would take <Mod Edit: Drugs>, drink a lot. But dinner u have no money, I have no drugs to keep me above water.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 17, 2015
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Sometimes with counselling, it often helps to vent and get to the bottom of why you feel the way you do, but it doesn't necessarily change anything. Maybe you need to look for another therapist who offers a specific type of therapy, rather than one who just sits there and listens to your problems. Sitting there venting doesn't change anything, you need to learn how your thoughts and behaviours affect you, and learn how you can change them.
  3. Dewonderland

    Dewonderland Well-Known Member

    I guess you know it but drugs doesn't help.

    I tear you appart from people and make you lonely and unable to cope with your life.

    I mean, it seems complicated enough with the breakup, the job, the college ... don't add drug on this.

    This how people lose their friends.

    One of my friend had this best friend he new since highschool and started to take drugs in college. At first it was to try, and then to party, and then each time she wanted to party and then each time she wanted to have fun ... and then just to spend time because she has lost her job too and since she had quit school ...
    It was making her violent and irrational and bit by bit all different. She was always thinking people were trying to trick her though when she was down from a high she was calling from comfort anytime he did is best to always be there. But then sometimes she cried and got mad, screaming and insulting within half an hour. One night my friend just took a taxi once at 3a.m. to go and check on her because she thought she might OD, she was so down and broken but then when he comfort her, and that is true, asked her to try to stop she screamed and got him out of her place.

    I will be honest, he doesn't know where she is now.

    Drugs don't keep you above the water. It destroys you and it destroys people who care for you.

    It won't probably change a thing me telling you that. I still hope ...
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, you are young and please remember that. Like Butterfly says counselling will help you. Yes, drugs might make you happy in the short term but will be harmful in the long run. You are important and life precious. The events in the past are hurtful and all people face this everyday.

    Can you not focus on something difficult to let out any anxiety you feel. People suffer depression everyday but it handled on a day by day basis. You are important and never dwell on the past.

    I know it's currently hard but you will find happiness. You are strong person as you have posted here.

    Please be safe and please take Butterfly's advice.
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