I'm slowly losing my mind

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by GS9, Mar 15, 2013.

  1. GS9

    GS9 The Lost Boy

    Usually I am able to bounce back up... but this time is different.... I can't bounce back, can't find motivation to bounce back.. I feel this sinking feeling in my soul... Loneliness, unhappiness, depression, anxiety, and insomnia are being to rot my mind... I believe it is true that someone can take only so much before his mind breaks and he can no longer revert to a normal mind... I had to sell some sanity to prevent me from falling into insanity. I am will always be the black sheep, the man people talk about behind his back but never to his face... Now don't read this post and say these are the typing's of a mad man... just a tired beaten human who would want nothing more than to be happy and no longer alone... The court date inches slowly but its too far away and by the time i finally appear to the jury trial my sanity would have left me and the strong will of wanting to be in jail will over come me... "What is the point of life if everyday you have to struggle to survive?"......... I have been left with nothing time and time again..

    To tired to try anymore.. Anger is a new welcome to this situation,
    I am deeply angered by the police and more angered at this f*cking world
    Even as i type my anger is building
    I had thoughts that a person shouldn't think about..
    I don't take kindly to another human destroying my life again.. after i had to pick up the pieces so many times
    I pray to god that i can keep my sanity and anger in check before i snap and do something..
    I bet that cop is sleeping peacefully with no worries in the world...
    The thought that someone can ruin your life legally and pay no price and doesn't have evidence..
    I am praying god save me before the madness takes over and my eyes go black as i sell my soul to the devil

    I have no friends... no family... no love....
    that's all i want... happiness and love..
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    MC...please re-read your sig...you are under so much stress right now and yes, it is taking its toll...is there some support for you? Is there a counselor or such you can talk to? And please continue to post...you have a voice here and that is very important at times like this
  3. GS9

    GS9 The Lost Boy

    Nightmares, insomnia and never able to take a mental break from the world makes the light dim.. what if your fate was to struggle a never ending battle for light that is there but always too far to grab

    I just so lonely right now... all my friends are only on the net.....
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I think we are least equipped to judge that when we need it the most...another unfair consequence of depression...please keep posting and getting support...one never knows what will lift our spirits
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun just know we are here for you ok we don't judge and you keep talking to us I do hope hun you continue to fight ok anger i use it sometimes to push me out of the depression
    You keep venting here ok soon the darkness won't be so dark hun. The light will manage to break through again hugs
  6. GS9

    GS9 The Lost Boy

    I'm was just stressing out
    Just made me realize just how lonely i am and how i long for a partner
    I have my anxiety level under control for now but the weight of depression still pulls me down