Im so alone...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Amanda, Mar 21, 2007.

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  1. Amanda

    Amanda Well-Known Member

    I dont know what to do anymore, I am so alone... I have no friends that even live in the same country as I do. Its fucking pathetic, I go to school and I go home, I have no friends, I go shopping alone, everything fucking alone.

    I have battled anorexia for 6 years, and now that Im starting in recovery and coming out of this disease, I just see how fucking pathetic my life is.... Ive never been invited to a party, Ive never had a girlfriend, the one girl I asked out a couple of weeks ago rejected me... I want to walk up to her, and blow my fucking brains out right in front of her, let her feel my pain, as she picks my brains out of her favorite sweater.

    I just feel so alone, I wish I had friends, i wish I had a woman, I wish I wasnt stuck up here in Canada.

    I wish I was dead!

    But I dont want to tell my doctors as they will throw me in the psych ward, and that will ruin my school year, and fuck me over...

    Grr... I hate life...
  2. stephananio

    stephananio New Member

    dont feel like that, your pain is fixable, look for company in other places. yeh that one girl may be a bitch, but like myself, there are nice people out there, im here to talk to if you need to as i feel alone too, even worse mine's self-inflicted. plus, they probably wouldnt go into a psych ward youd just see a crisis team, at least that's what happens in england. good luck, feel better Steph x x x
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I know it is very difficult to change how you think, but this is really what you must do. Don't give up because you were rejected by that girl. We all have suffered through many rejections in our lives. It really solves nothing to harm yourself in front of someone. It doesn't make you feel any better I don't believe. You have battled anorexia and said you are overcoming that. What a courageous thing. That is a victory in itself. Don't try to rush things. Figure out what it is you would like to change about yourself and strive toward that goal. Maybe it is a new hairstyle or different type of clothing from what you normally wear. Anything that can help you feel good about you. How can we expect others to like us, when we don't ourselves. There are people that can see through what we don't and can tell the type of person we truly are. Your time will come. It just may not be as soon as you would like it to be.
  4. You aren't alone anymore..:) I love you, and I'm always here for you..always. Neverr forget that.:lips:
  5. hyperionxvii

    hyperionxvii Member

    Hey, I know exactly how you feel. I moved to another state to be with my girlfriend, and she died last night. I know no one else here. It is a bad feeling to be so isolated, and I have the grief to deal with as well. If you would like, you can email me directly and we can talk about this, I want to help, just let me know.
  6. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    I wish I could say this to everyone here, but I am afraid of sounding superficial.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forum. Let me see friends nope don't have any. why? Because I isolate myself in my bedroom for the last fourteen years. And I have gotten use to being by myself.
    As far as relationships go, I only had one GF that really cared for me. I had to move to Texas with my parents.I was there for 3years, and then I was in the military and she waited for me the whole time I was gone. When I finally started to settle back in here in Florida we went out a few times. Then I broke down and told her to forget about me because I wasn't a very nice person. I had alot of anger in me, and I was strung out on drugs I went my seperate way and all these years later and several relations later I kick myself in the ass for turning her away from me.
    You will run across someone you feel Likes you then you start talking, the next thing you know she will be dating you, from there it is up to the both of you. Don't be down on yourself there are several thousands of both male an female who are in the same boat. The hardest thing is breaking the ice. I have confidence in you because you are a good person....Good Luck...
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