I'm so ANGRY

[pancake111]

So i've been in a bowling league since i was 6 years old (im 16 now), and since then, i've grown to be really good, and one of the best in the league.

But in the past few years, i've become very depressed, i've had suicidal thoughts (not anymore though), and i've been recently diagnosed with social anxiety. Over the past year, i've grown frusterated with bowling, and i've been losing interest quickly. I've been put on meds for the depression, but bowling just isn't the same as it used to be. It's just not fun anymore.

Before the summer started, i told my coach that i would practice a lot during the summer, and that i would work with him to help me improve (i've kind of stagnated with my progress). But I haven't been in to bowl since April. To be honest i've been avoiding bowling because i feel like everytime i bowl, I just get angry and i throw horrible games.

My coach asked my brother if i had been in at all to bowl, and he said i haven't. My coach then said that i'm not dedicated.

When i heard that he said i wasn't dedicated, i got so angry at him. How could he say that after all the years of work and frustration i've put into this. I felt really hurt and betrayed by him. I've been through hell this year, and the fact that i'm still alive is a miracle. I just feel like it's a slap in the face for him to say that. There has also been a rumor going around that i'm quitting bowling, which i'm not.

My question is, should i confront my coach about what he said, or should i dismiss it, and try to improve my bowling myself. (sorry this is so long)

 

[absolution]

I think you should confront your coach. It will be good for him to know how he made you feel. That's not fair of him to just flat out say that you aren't dedicated when he doesn't really know what has been going on.

Do you think you could maybe tell him a little of what has been happening for you to get him to understand?

 

[total eclipse]

I think you should tell him how ill you have been and how you are struggling hun. You talk to him let him know how upset his comments were and that you did everything you could when you were well to make the team what it was. Now you need his understanding hugs

 

[pancake111]

Thanks for you comments, and i think i will confront him about what he said. He's a nice and fun guy, but he's also serious, so he'll understand!

Thanks for the support:hug:

 

[absolution]

:hug: Let us know how it goes hun.

 

[Speedy]

Hi pancake111! :hug: I'm a little late to this thread, but.. I know that you're upset by what he said, but I would be careful about what I'd tell him.. Is what is going on with you so far private (other bowlers don't know about it?)? I'm worried because you said bowling just isn't fun anymore.

 

[morning rush]

the best way to feel better is to sit down with your coach and let him know how you felt when you heard this...maybe let him know how hard this year has been...talk about the frustrations you have when you bowl...

I had a problem with a teacher once, and I went right on and confronted him, his reaction was defensive at first...but then afterwards in the following days, he was nicer and more understanding...at least that was my experience...

similar thing happened with one of my mom's nurse...I misunderstood her and freaked out...but I asked to see her and explained what I understood and she was really nice about it...

the key is not to be accusing or attacking....write everything down if it helps you clear out your thoughts...

 

[pancake111]

Mr. Alex: Nobody knows about my depression and other problems (in the league that is). I think I'll just tell him a little of what's going on but not the whole thing. He's an understanding person, so i'm not worried. And bowling isn't fun anymore because i haven't been doing as good in tournamnets and stuff as i know i can, and the depression is probably a contributer to the loss of interest.

Morning Rush:You're right, i don't want to attack or accuse him, i just want him to understand why i haven't been in to work on my bowling. I want him to understand what has been going on, and that i'm not just being lazy.

Sacred Heart:I will let you all know how it goes. I'll probably go in on saturday (he's only in on saturdays) and clear the air!

 

[pancake111]

My coach is on vacation this week, so I have to wait till next week to talk to him. Just wanted to let you all know.