im so confused

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Alexis Hennen, Oct 26, 2013.

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  1. Alexis Hennen

    Alexis Hennen Member

    my mind hurts so bad I'm sitting here on the edge of a razor if I go left I will watch my love my friend end his life then I will end mine if I go right my withered sole demands I end my pathetic life if I call for help I will lose my freedom to choose my direction forced to be medicated till my mind turns to mush I WILL NO LONGER SEEK HELP FROM SOCALED PROFESSIONALS tie me to a bed and inject me to keep me alive so I can continue to pay their wages.......I'm scared.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOU go the way you will heal hun you get all the supports you need to get well again If it is meds so be it therapy as well but you deserve peace and healing so please do not shut door ok you keep opening them
     
  3. Alexis Hennen

    Alexis Hennen Member

    every door that I have ever opened has eventually lead to sadness heartbreak endless pain I no longer want to open anymore doors I have thrown away my keys I just want to lay down here and sleep forever
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I understand i truly do because i know how it feels when you do not see any hope in sight been there many times held on and eventually a door that did open did bring some reprieve
    I know it is hard i do but please know this please there is hope ok sometimes we just do not see it because it is hiding from our view but it is there. You hold on here ok you get support from us the ones that do get it we do but hold on until hope shows itself again
     
  5. Alexis Hennen

    Alexis Hennen Member

    hope is a lie
    trust is a lie
    love is a lie
    life is a lie
    lie to me its what i was told to believe

    my fingers are numb from holding on
    holding on to my lover
    holding on to my family
    holding on to the idea that there is something to hold on for

    I'm sorry I just dont believe its worth fighting for anymore
     
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