i'm so confused

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by unidentifiable, Aug 1, 2010.

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  1. unidentifiable

    unidentifiable Well-Known Member

    i want to lose weight so badly i used to be at 114, but then i started eating again and now i'm close to 150!!! i'm so scared about seeing the numbers on the scale, yet i push myself to look. I just want to lose as much weight as possible and if that means dying by anorexia, I really, honestly and truly, don't care. I've restarted my old habits of thinspiration and I just need to lose the weight... sooo badly.. i feel ugly and worthless and stupid and lazy and... FAT!!!! god, so awfully fat!! i'm bloated and oozing ugly skin and fat. everywhere! it makes me want to die! but no, i won't do that until i'm skinny., mustn't be remembered as the dead fat girl. no. i want to die as skinny as possible... but all those calories i've been eating. it's disgusting!!!!! i hate it!!! it's RIDICULOUS!! ughh! I HATE MYSELF!!!! so much!!! *cry* as if i don't have enough going on in my life at this moment. i have to go and make things worse.... do all of this "for attention". yeah right. my fears of fat and food are not for attention. i hate when people say that. just like my cutting and depression. i do it all "for attention". i do NOT do it all for attention. it... *sigh* i give up... i just give up.... sorry all who have read this....
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    OH it is awful how people say that i know you are in pain sadness and it is so hard to deal with weight gain. I don't think you have to starve yourself to get thin really just eat vegetable fruit salads fish chicken no skin eat smart okay walk it will come off the weight. I hope you can feel better soon and i know you are not wanting attention i know that you are wanting to feel better thats all abt yourself i understand i do don't let anyone hurt you with their words okay take care
  3. toprngr

    toprngr Member

    I understand how hard it is to reduce weight. In fact, if losing weight is one of your intentions, you have to keep the motivation strong and keep pounding on it until you see results, and when I say pounding, I don’t mean on food. You have to have a healthy diet and eat a balance meal, and of course, reduce junk food when it comes to healthy. And do more exercise regularly. That is the most important thing to do.
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