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I'm so crushed

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I feel so let down. My mom is an alcoholic and recently started drinking again. I can't stand it. I want MY mom back! What did I do to deserve this?? Why does she hate me? She told me it was my fault. MY FAULT! I hate it. I feel like I want to just die. Fall asleep and not wake up. I feel like I can't express my feelings and when I talk like this, I feel guilty. Almost like I'm whining and complaining. *sigh* :(

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
First off it is NOT your fault your mother chooses to drink
You mother chooses to drink because she is an alcoholic I hope you can talk to someone you trust hun about what is happening.
Never ever blame yourself for someone elses behavior
I am sorry she said that to you but she is trying to blame someone else for her wrong choses
Is the a hotline you can call to just talk to someone about what you are going through If she gets violent hun you call authorities okay they will get her the help she needs to get sober and stay sober.


Well-Known Member
Megan you feel let down because to be honest you have been let down. I hate seeing mums or dads 'in drink' too much - its sad for younger children to cope with this and brings a lot of stress.

Partly your mum is a bit selfish - most mums, even ones who like a drink would never dream of being seen drunk in the home. But sometimes its hard for mums - I'm not making excuses, but its easy to get addicted and often as not people turn to booze because they are depressed.

There is obviously something missing in your life if your drunk all the time. Drinking at home is not a good idea - best for special occasions, parties and so on.

Its hard for children to deal with - and your mum is obviously nice when she is sober. Try to tell her that - but be careful and be diplomatic. don't get into any 'scene' with a big row cos that will upset you and make you feel guilty. You have no reason to feel guilty but sure its easy to become like that with you dealing with depression.

Try and concentrate on your education or other interests you have - and obviously you want to be positive in yourself - so your mum could help you and herself if she takes it easy for a while.

Try to tell her you want you old mum back - she might be feeling depressed and if you and her are not getting along it makes you both feel bad.

an old aunt of mine would drink a quarter bottle of whiskey on any day - but lived to a ripe old age. She was a merry drinker - drink lifted her and when her husband died there was nobody to say 'you've had three glasses today!'

I mean, an occasional drink is nice - a drink with a meal makes the meal taste nicer - helps appetite. For many a glass or two everyday is not a problem.

Bear in mind alcoholics have stages to go through. Some just drink lots and get into a real bad emotional state. You do not want to go out like this - not really as judgement is missing. That is more a problem drinker. Needing it everyday - and drinking to excess is being an alcoholic. I know many - they start drinking early in the morning - first thing about the 9.00am or so. They are walking the walk by 9.00pm - I guess men a lot more so because women tend to hide it better.

Hope she can get her senses back - sometimes people like this are the LAST to see its a problem. Having someone tell them - someone who cares - might well be what they need to get her thinking seriously about were this will take her and how it affects you.

Best wishes - sorry to see you feeling this way and hope happier things will occupy your mind before long!

I'm sure they will.

You are a strong person and are carrying more than just your own problems. hope your mum gets better.

Regards, good luck and God bless.
Thank you both for your support. I'm trying my best and talking to my therapist. I hope to get in with my psychiatrist and maybe see what I can do about these suicidal thoughts and images. Hopefully it'll help. I can only hope for her to see what she is doing is killing herself, and destroying the family in the process. I really love her, and I don't know what it will take for her to see that I wish she was back to the way that she was.

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
I know hun alcoholism destroys not only the person drinking i am sorry your mother does not see that perhaps you therapist can talk to her and get her to realize how her actions not only affect her but the whole family
We have had multiple family meetings with therapists, but they never seem to work. She always ends up placing the blame on me or my dad. She seems OK today at the moment, but there's still time left in the day...
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