This may seem ironic to be posting here, but I actually want to live. I want to live so badly. I feel like I am not able to have that option. I feel like a slave to my parents. A shell for my parents to use in order to achieve their own "happiness", or their idea of being "happy". I end up feeling like a robot, trying so hard to make other people happy and ignoring my own. Every time I try to turn that around, I get thrown words like "selfish" or "ungrateful". I'm a disappointment, I'm a joke...a burden. I don't know how long I've felt like this, probably since I was 5. Home doesn't feel like home anymore. Home shouldn't be a place you're afraid of. I never seem to be enough for my mum. I have to be "perfect". I can't share my own opinion w/o them shutting it down almost instantly. I always seem to be in the wrong. I just keep repressing it, day by day. And now.. I'm so tired. So tired of everything. Recently, things have been so hectic, with friends, school, family. I can feel life spiraling downwards. Nothing seems interesting to me anymore. I'm usually an optimistic person, telling myself that misery won't last forever. But now I'm just out of it. But I don't want to give up just yet... maybe that's why I'm here.