i'm so exhausted

[Oz85]

When i was 4/5 i was sexually abused by my uncle,then it stopped cause we moved.then my parents started beating me up.Until i got taller than them,16 i guess..lasted for only 6-7 years..
I was bulimic,and i used to cut myself since i was around 12,which only stopped 2 years ago..i ODed when i was 12,then raped while i was unconscious.i was asking for it..

Then my grandfather died,he was in another country and i never got over it.because he raised me,while my parents were busy traveling europe due to their 'important' jobs.

Last year my mom caught my dad cheating.no surprise for me since he took me to one of his affair trips when i was 10, and caught him in bed with another woman.when the secret was out,i had to save my parents' marriage and lie to my younger siblings..and newly found too,because i discovered that my adopted sister is actually my half sister,and i have another one that i have not met yet.

Then when i tought i've had enough beating, they diagnosed me with chronic neurological condition.migraines everyday for the past year, lots of physical therapy,bla bla whatever.

then one day 3 weeks ago i woke up,and didn't feel like myself.and i did it.of course i was rescued,just my luck.so the soonest i got out of the hospital,i did it again.forgot that people around me knew about it,again..i was found just in time..and i was forced into this psychiatric hospital because of the law here..

Now i'm out cause i managed to trick the psychiatrist that i wont do it again.but i know i will.i'm in some kind of therapy almost everyweekday,have hung out with friends,family, have been working and studying for my exams.None of it helped..

So i'm so exhausted of being sick, and i am just so exhausted..

 

[shades]

Welcome to SF. I must admit that I cannot relate to your exact situation. But I can tell you that many here can. You've endured so much and are still here to talk about it. I certainly hope you stay with us here at SF and continue to talk with us about it.

There are so many great people here with whom you can establish long-term contacts and friendships. Please stay with us awhile and continue to post or vent. I will respond to all private messages if you want to send one. Please try and stick with your therapy. Have you trid any prescription meds.? If not, maybe you could discuss it with your therapist. Many of us at SF have had success with them.

 

[Oz85]

yes.i have,not for the time being.i have to wait for while because of the attempts..nothing works