I'm so fucked up *TRIGGER*

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by poison, Sep 5, 2006.

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  1. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    I want to cut so bad. I feel so worthless and depressed. Today, I sat at my desk, thinking about the blade. I imagined it gleaming in the light, I was mezmerized by it. I then thought about it slicing deep into my skin and causing blood to rise to that area, and bleeding away all my distress. I thought to myself after that, "Your so fucked up, you weirdo." I'm being bullied by life and myself. There is truly no escape... :cry: Cutting sounds so good right now... I've been off it three months and I can't stand the thought of going back to it. I never thought I'd get addicted... cuttings almost like a drug; you think you can drop it whenever and then it conquers you.
  2. consciousinsane

    consciousinsane Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear your feeling bad. I was feeling the same way you are yesterday. To get out of it I got up and talked to a few people about something stimulating. It helped me to get my mind back on track. What you might want to do is to simply close your eyes, and visualize your signature about the bank of Jesus Christ. Visulize it, repeat it over and over, and take deep breathes. Just take about 5 minutes, and I bet you feel just a little better. :smile:
  3. Callan

    Callan Guest

    I've cut pretty much every hour for the last week. It sucks you in I guess.
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Cutting is a difficult thing to overcome. Even when you have gone a long time without doing it the thoughts are still there. The want, the need. I don't know if it truly ever completely goes away. Do your best to stay away from it, but if you do happen to succumb to the desire, pick yourself up and start fresh. Setbacks happen. It doesn't mean you are any worse for it. Three months time is great! Think about what you used to stay cut free this long. Any kind of distraction you can. Don't give up and try not to give in. Hoping for the best for you. You can do it, I know you can. :hug:
  5. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    :hug: i have tried to stop cutting multiple times. all i can really tell you is to hang in there. if you want to talk to someone, PM me :hug:
  6. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    I just cut myself today. :sad: It was quick, I made a swipe across my ankle with the knife. I felt no pain what so ever, and I did all I could to make it burn.
  7. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    :( :hug: i am sorry to hear that.
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