Im so fucking stupid!!!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by whybother?, Nov 29, 2008.

  1. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    alrite last nite i went into the bathroom and cut my arm up as usual, blood filled the sink , its nothing unusual i thought i cleaned it up, cleaned up the cuts and walked out of the bathroom, then my sister shouted for her b/f (he lives with us) and then i heard him shout for me, i didnt know wtf was happening so i ran over to em and they said ''uve been doing sumthin in the bathroom havn't u'' i looked down ashamed and said ''yes'' so my sisters b/f said just clean it up,i looked in the sink and there was still blood stains in the sink AND there was blood on the floor, FFS ive cut myself for AGES and i was always careful not to leave any blood behind, im so fucking stupid not for noticing any of it! my sister cried for a good hour and her b/f had a ''chat'' with me etc, i feel fucking terrible that my sister had to see the blood, if it was my parents or my sistes bf i wouldnt feel so bad, but my sister :(

    ive decided im not gonna bother ringing up any numbers the doc gave me and im not gonna make another appointment with the doc, he was fucking useless before, aint gonna waste my time with the **** anymore

    im such a stupid fuck :mad: after this i will cut again, and im angry so its gonna be deep :mad: this time there will be no blood left behind
     
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Your only human, so of course there is a possibility that you miss places where you forgot to clean up or you don't notice where the blood is.
     
  3. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    please don't be hard on yourself.
     
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I'm sorry you were hurting so much that you were cutting. Sometimes cutting makes a person feel a bit "foggy". (Maybe that's why you missed some stains.) I don't think you're stupid. I agree with Oceans - please don't be so hard on yourself. Stay safe. :hug: