I've tried so many times to get better, I've seen four different therapists and been on medications. I'm 23 years old, I've never had a friend, I've never been on a date. I went through four years of college and never went to a party or out to a bar. I'm such a social misfit. But looking at me, no one would ever know that I am completely alone. I've decided that there has to be something about me that people can sense that automatically makes them write me off. Maybe they can sense that I'm gay, or uninteresting, or just not even worth their time. If I died tonight, or whenever I do die, no one will notice or care. I have no value, I'm just a shadow. I think about killing myself everyday. And everyday it seems a little less disgusting. If I don't care if I live, and no one else does; then why not kill myself? I honestly don't know how much more of this I can handle. Every day I feel like I'm slipping away a little more. I cry all the time, or sleep. I try to stay away from other people at work. I just don't know what to do. I do know that it hurts too much to keep on going like this.