I'm so lost, even here.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Right U R Ken, Jan 21, 2007.

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  1. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    After reading threads around here I'm kind of lost. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I'm older than most posters as far as I can tell. But I'm just guessing there.

    Lonelyiness has been my problem my whole life. Never being married, hardly ever had a girlfriend. And I honestly can't figure out why. I'm not ugly and not excessively shy like some people, although admittedly I'm not that outgoing either.

    Recently my confidence has been up because I lost some weight(40 pounds) and feel good about that. So I tried asking some women out, but it's turned into a disaster.No luck. One girl seemed eager to give me her phone number ( I didn't even ask for it, just started taling about doing something togetehr sometime and she give it to me) but she doesn't answer her phone and won't call me back even though I left a message. I gave up on her of course.

    Even tried the online thing but got no responses. The lack of response is crushing me.

    And now I have a trigger that sends me into a depression. I was making friend with the neighbor girl that lives across the hall from me in my new apartment building. One day she sat with me in my apartment and give some advce on things, very nice converstion and all. To thank her, sinc eit was near christmas time, I agve you a christmas gift. No big deal but it caused a major problem. It seems her boyfriend didn't like it and now she won't talk to me at all. I thought I had made a new friend but now she treats me like the enemy.She went from smiling and saying "hi" to avoiding looking at me and treating me like I did something bad. It really sucks because not only do I see her almost everyday but she works at the only supermarket in town so I have to see her there when I shop and everytime pretend like we never met. Today sucked because we walked by each other and I stopped her and said we should be more mature than just pretending like we never met and should talk like two adults. She just blew me off and kept walking. Man that set me off. I just wanted to make it right. When the rest of you life sucks so much having a friend turned enemy is just fustrating in an insane way.

    I don't know, I'm just lost.
  2. Zueri

    Zueri Well-Known Member

    I can kind of relate to you. I once had a whole bunch of friends that I thought were friends. In middle school, I would help all of these "friends" with homework, but one got jealous. She decided to break into my locker and spread a whole bunch of rumors about me...That left me scarred.

    Anyways, enough about me.

    I'm sure you'll find someone eventually that you will be happy with. From your post, I can see that you're a beautiful person. I think most people just misunderstand what you're all about.

    And about your lady-friend...That's so messed up! She won't talk to you just because of that one little incident? Geez!That's really immature. You did the right thing by trying to sort it all out...
    Maybe try writing a letter to her? Telling her how you feel? Don't send it if you don't want to, but do it anyway. It may make you feel better. And, if you do decide to send it, it may shed some light on the situation to her. It maybe that her boyfriend brainwashed her into thinking you were somehow making a move on her by sending the Christmas gift...

    Well, I hope I helped you...and didn't just ramble on and on.

    -big hug-

    Feel better, OK?
  3. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the response syiah. Funny how you said you think my lady friend's boyfriend may have brainwashed her. That's exactly what I've been thinking aoubt her and her boyfriend in general since I met her. Basically she does and thinks whatever her boyfriends says. Even with the situation between me and her now I know is becaue of her boyfriend. We don't talk much now but we have said a couple of things in passing that have given it away. It hasn't been much but a few things here and there. One thing that stood out was today when I tried to talk to her to make things right, she blew me off and kept walking but as she walked away she said "You said not to worry about it and I should just go about my life" That was weird because I never said that to her. I realize her boyfriend must have told her that and she just accepted as and absolute fact about the situation.

    I think it's called being "Co-dependent". she relies on him to decide everything. Whatever he says goes.
  4. Zueri

    Zueri Well-Known Member

    Huh...sounds very bizarre.
    Maybe you should try talking to HIM...ell him you don't want to steal his girlfriend. Maybe write a letter to him, so he can't talk back to you.
    Tell him everything in it. He might start to understand. Chances are that he's confused and insecure.
    BTW, he sounds like a jerk.
  5. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    Syiah, thanks but I don't think I will talk to either of them anymore. It just sucks to lose a friend like that especially in my situation. I'm alone and yet I have to see these two together all the time. It's bad enough to see couples sometimes, but to see these two together under these conditions really bothers me. It was particular bad today and I broke down for a while earlier today and ended up finding this forum so I posted.
  6. Zueri

    Zueri Well-Known Member

    Well, do what seems best to you. I wish I understood what was going on a little bit better.

    PM me if you want to talk!
  7. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    I guess we've concentrated too much on the problem with my neighbor. Overall the problem is lonlyiness. Gets to be too much sometimes. And very frustrating that I never meet anyone, even though I try.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 21, 2007
  8. kath

    kath Well-Known Member

    i struggle with loneliness too but im also scared of people.Welcome to SF!!!!!

    There are some fantastic people here and i hope you find friends.There will always be people here to listen to oou.

    Take care and best wishes for now
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    There are many people here who can relate to your feelings of lonliness and not feeling like you fit in. You will meet lots of new people to talk with and find that you soon have many friends. You have received some good advice about your lady friend already so I won't repeat what you have already heard. Know that I am thinking of you. Feel free to post as much as you are comfortable with. :hug:
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