im so lost. please respond.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by patodemuerte, Nov 15, 2007.

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  1. patodemuerte

    patodemuerte Well-Known Member

    without lecturing, sugar coating, giving responses that tell me to hold on it will all pass... please, leave out the bulls**t answers, i want serious thoughtful answers. I dont want to be told that I need to go think about things that make me "happy". please. i want a real answer. it doesnt even have to be "correct" but just one that has been decently considered.

    im having trouble understanding people. i dont understand the greatness of living life. I dont understand the pro-life situation. I find it rather saddening that people choose to live. That they see nothing else beyond their world. Im not talking world hunger/peace, im talking that they are searching for "happiness" through money, power, family, god, pretty much everything. I just dont get what they are looking forward to, what good they see in living life and getting a promotion and going to school.

    ok, lets get off that rant.

    I fear i will not get my answer here, because these are things you all seem to cherish, that are important to you. I fear i may have to live with my thoughts. I cannot seem to get away from me, my thoughts.

    Can someone tell me what the big deal is about life? Why is everyone pro-life? I mean REALLY, what is the big deal about living, waking up each day to such ignorance? I see no point. Anyone have some sort of answer?

    They say crazy people dont know they're crazy. That if you asked them, they'd claim complete sanity. Well I am here, saying that I have never seen life more clearer, never more sane, and I fear I have lost my mind.
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I have been told that life is what you make it. Bulls**t. I did not choose my life to end up this way. And right now at this point in time, I have decided to end that life that is not mine. I'm sure you did not choose your's either. We didn't wake up one day and decide to write the planet off and all the people on it. But like you I did choose to use SF. And it has helped to keep me here a little longer. Most of the advice I have received has been honest and heart felt. I take it for what it is worth and that it was sent with good intentions. I think that if you stay here for a while, you will find the same thing. See most of the people here value happiness far too much to waste it on fake and trivial things. What short flickers we do get, we have to cherish. And a lot of the happiness I have found was here in these posts. So please let others here try and change your perspective. PM me if ya want to discuss things.
  3. Expedion

    Expedion Member


    I want to correct you on your situation. From reading on what you just said. You have come to a good point. You have come to a point where you can make a new start. A choice between materialism and spirituality. You have realized that happiness is not found in materials, school, money etc etc. You have sensed that you are only being imprisoned by these things.

    But the bad thing you are concluding is that life is worthless... the reason behind why you conclude this is because you have been made to associate life with your role in society. Well I'll tell you something. Life ISN'T society. Life is something that is lived from within not from the outside. Because after all you ARE the holder of life.

    So go within. Get yourself involved into that inner journey. See what your own self has to offer. Disconnect yourself from the false emotions that have been given by society. Start to go within.

    You will start to notice that an unconditional spirit awaits in you. You will start to consciously experience your own self.

    The journey itself can be compared to a trip on mushrooms.

    These words are more then just words. Ones realized, one can achieve ANYTHING.

    I know what i am saying, because I was in the same boat as yours.

    Make the effort for it, that's all you need to do. You can't get any more real then this.

    - Expedion
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 15, 2007
  4. patodemuerte

    patodemuerte Well-Known Member

    Expedion, thanks for nothin didnt really take the time to notice that i had already written off Spirituality..that whole god thing....

    I dont know if I went backwards or what but I actually went "soul searching" to "find myself" before these thoughts overtook me and I didnt find that good person you were talking about. I actually found myself to be quite unnatural... which is why I got to thinking about life and it's many wandering assholes.

    Again, thanks for nothin.
  5. Expedion

    Expedion Member

    Then you have missed my point.

    Your goal is to clean yourself again, cleanse the toxicity. Spent time looking at it. Analyze them. From what I am reading, these thoughts are controlling you. Thats something what you should not do.

    But ive been where you have been. You'll get over it. You are far from self suicide.

    You'll see.

    P.S. And what God have you been looking for. And where. In a book?
  6. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    That's a bit harsh, I don't think there was anything in your first post that talked exactly 100% about what expedion was trying to say. So please try and be a little more nice when people do try and help, although it is understandable to get frustrated, I grant that.
    Without knowing exactly what your thoughts are it's hard to pinpoint what to say. I would ask what's the biggest issue right now and then we can try and work on that for starters. Or maybe ask what your idea of a 'good life' might be.
    Also can be good to spend some time in chat with others.
    take care
  7. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Mein gott. Challeging philosophical questions.

    I don't know why I'm here. I am a hedonist. I try to get as much pleasure out of life as possible. I don't do what society tells me to do. As a result, I am lonely much of the time. But I'd rather have nothingness than a bunch of shallow assholes expecting marriage, divorce, kids, promotions, etc.

    The one thing that prevents me from committing suicide? Pain. Suicide hurts. I'm sure there'll come a day when my emotion pain will eclipse my physical pain which will spur me to end my life. I hope that day comes soon.
  8. vehas

    vehas New Member

    i've just joined.. i found this forum after reading a topic on kurt Cobain, a huge hero of mine.
    I read this post, and felt compelled to join, so I hope my contribution counts.

    Life for some of us (namely me) is seen as a great gift, now sure, none of us can choose where we're born or into what situation, however the very fact we are born with conscience and brain is in itself a miracle.

    Now i will not patronise you and say "it'll be ok", because frankly i have no clue of your set of circumstances, all i will say, is that I have had very hard times, like 90% of this world.. yet I worked through them to reap the benefits.. For me it's people around me who text, call or look forward to seeing me, it's picking up my guitar and learning a new song, it's laughing at some goofy US drama.
    All these things and many many more, make all those times of desperation seem that bit further. We as humans can think far beyond our capabilities of understanding the grand scheme, you know, there isnt one, only the limitations you put on yourself of where your happiness lies.

    Now maybe you actually like the attention this forum grants.. people worrying about you, etc.. But i doubt it.

    You seem like an intelligent chap/lady, and have a gift in the fact you can think on a deep level, many.. (watch jerry springer, or if you're from the uk Jeremy Kyle) cannot even function on this level, and are destined to live quite shallow lives based on material acheivements and animal desire.. but hey, it's all a balance.

    Just don't forget that somewhere your depth and perhaps at this time, despair in life and what it has to offer may benefit you or people around you.. The fact you're here on earth and living is a gift to all of us, your responsibility (not sure if that's the right word) is to channel the pain, as well as your strengths to find a cause to find worthy and which may lead to happiness, on whatever level you seek.

    to end it all would be a waste, a real waste.. we're all destined to die anyway, why not try and do your best to enjoy every moment you have left?

    simple pleasures are often the best.. Eat a slice of toast oozing with butter, sit on the loo with a good book, pick your nose in public and watch snooty people roll their eyes, honk the horn at a passer by and wave to them, try and blow a smoke ring with a cigarette, or even hold a door open to a complete stranger..

    all these things, I and others enjoy, and they are the little things that help balance the overall sadness that life can bring.. It's only you that can bring balance to your own life.

    peace and love out

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