Ever since about a year ago mild suicidal thoughts have been going through my head. I never thought much of it untill months ago untill I started having lots of troubbles with people socially, which caused me to face many emotional problems thus increasing my suicidal thoughts. I have been doing VERY poorly in school and I haven't been getting along with my parents. I just feel so misunderstod with nobody to relate to. I started abusing narcotics as of a few months ago around the same time I started cutting. I also picked up smoking which I know is bad as well. But I really just dont care anymore. Sometimes I just feel so alone in this world. I know people care but I feel ike it's just out of pitty. But sometimes when I do cut I kind of wish I went too deep and I did kill myself. Right now I'm just really confused. I even tried waiting it out and things got worse... Nothing seems to be going right for me anymore. I just wish I would fall asleep and never wake up. I just want to get it over with. I'm trying to fight these feelings and emotions but I am about to loose it, and I have nobody and nowhere to turn to. At my young age of 14, I want to save myself becuase I have so much life to live but the other half of me just doesen't want to wait and see- knowing my luck things will get worse!