I'm sorry to rant about my problems. I'm usually trying to help people on here, but I'm in such a state at the moment. My grandad had a car crash the other day and has been in hospital ever since. I just got a phone call to stay he's took a turn for the worse and he's had to have ventilation equipment put on him. He's not good. I'm terrified of losing him. Most of my family have more or less told me that's what's going to happen... and I'm dreadfully upset about it all. One of my biggest fears is losing a loved one, and I don't know what we're going to do. I'll end up depressed again and all the suicidal feelings will come back. My tears are soaking the damn keyboard... I've recently just been feeling a little better about myself, but now it's all just shot down the drain. Why when things start to get better and you finally start enjoying life again; you end up back at rock bottom? Sorry for this I just needed to vent somewhere.