i feel like i'm so messed up because i'm stressed out all the time and everyone seems to be making things worse for me. when i show people that i'm being pushed over the edge, all they can say is that i need to ''chill'', ''calm down'', ''relax'' or say that i'm crazy and need to stop getting mad over little things. they are actually unable to comprehend that what's making me stressed out is more than just what they did that day or that moment and incapable of understanding that it's all linked and that i'm this close to losing all my will power.. you know? just being pushed over the edge into some mental breakdown. i don't even know if i'm at that point right now...but i don't think i am because there are still times when i'm happy. happy moments are slowly decreasing, and there's nothing i can do about it. it's not that people don't care... it's more like they don't really know how to deal with it. i don't expect them to know how to deal with it because if they asked me how they can help me i would answer that i have no idea. all i know is that telling me that i need to chill out isn't gonna make me chill out it just irritates me and makes me feel like i can't show it to anyone... it also really kills me when people tell me ''oh it's gonna get better'' because they are just choosing an easy way out of having to talk to me. when people say ''go to therapy'' it's like they don't wanna deal with you, so they wanna dump you on someone who doesn't have a choice someone who you don't even know and don't feel connected to. i've been to therapy and it helped and last year i was extremely happy but now it feels like last year's happiness was fake and this year i just don't have time or money for therapy because i'm a senior in high school who is about to move out. i don't know what to do. sometimes when i feel like there's someone i can open up to i just remember that it will freak them out and they won't wanna talk to me anymore. this is why i made an account on this forum.. i don't know if anyone actually cares enough to read all of this but at least i get to vent and maybe if i'm lucky someone will wanna talk to me.. and maybe try to help me. is it possible for someone to help me without saying the exact same things that i would hear anywhere else? i don't even know... but i hope there is.