i'm so messed up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lacey, Jun 23, 2007.

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  1. lacey

    lacey New Member

    i feel like i'm so messed up because i'm stressed out all the time and everyone seems to be making things worse for me. when i show people that i'm being pushed over the edge, all they can say is that i need to ''chill'', ''calm down'', ''relax'' or say that i'm crazy and need to stop getting mad over little things. they are actually unable to comprehend that what's making me stressed out is more than just what they did that day or that moment and incapable of understanding that it's all linked and that i'm this close to losing all my will power.. you know? just being pushed over the edge into some mental breakdown. i don't even know if i'm at that point right now...but i don't think i am because there are still times when i'm happy. happy moments are slowly decreasing, and there's nothing i can do about it. it's not that people don't care... it's more like they don't really know how to deal with it. i don't expect them to know how to deal with it because if they asked me how they can help me i would answer that i have no idea. all i know is that telling me that i need to chill out isn't gonna make me chill out it just irritates me and makes me feel like i can't show it to anyone... it also really kills me when people tell me ''oh it's gonna get better'' because they are just choosing an easy way out of having to talk to me. when people say ''go to therapy'' it's like they don't wanna deal with you, so they wanna dump you on someone who doesn't have a choice someone who you don't even know and don't feel connected to. i've been to therapy and it helped and last year i was extremely happy but now it feels like last year's happiness was fake and this year i just don't have time or money for therapy because i'm a senior in high school who is about to move out. i don't know what to do. sometimes when i feel like there's someone i can open up to i just remember that it will freak them out and they won't wanna talk to me anymore. this is why i made an account on this forum.. i don't know if anyone actually cares enough to read all of this but at least i get to vent and maybe if i'm lucky someone will wanna talk to me.. and maybe try to help me. is it possible for someone to help me without saying the exact same things that i would hear anywhere else? i don't even know... but i hope there is.
  2. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member


    Welcome to the forum hunny. You'll find that alot of people can relate to what you posted here. We might not say the most useful things at times (personally I'm really useless with words) but we'll try to help the best we can, and we're always here to listen.

    Take care :smile:
  3. Bud Leaf

    Bud Leaf Member

    I understand your feelings, your reasons and actions. If i could i would visit everyone one this site and use my god given talent to make people smile. if you are reading this, i bet you 100$ i can make you smile, there is even a slight chance you just smiled right there. :biggrin: Suicide is not the answer you should be seeking in this situation, rather, try to make a posative out of your lifes negatives. That is what i have done my entire life, the only way to truly redeem yourself of negativity, is to use it, be proud you made it through it alive, because you became stronger from fighting it, and if you enlighten others on your situations/circumstances simmilar to your own they will never forget you for the rest of their lives for helping them with their own. I am practicing what im preaching and incourage all users of this site to do the same, use our negatives to help others going through the same thing. You cant just erase these hard times from your lives, witch is why it is essential for us to use them in a good way if they are going to be in your mind regardless anyways, focus on your life and how you can use it for others, and the satisfaction of that is 100 miles away from suicide. please smile Lacey, and never stop.
  4. Bud Leaf

    Bud Leaf Member

    Also i forgot to mention if you are looking for something to help take your mind of your troubles, i strongly suggest you goto YouTube and search Andy Mckee and listen to songs such as Rynlynn but please if you dont want to listen to this for real then you dont have to its just what i use to help me feel good and I really hope it can work for you too, but you have to listen to this music with your heart lacey as corny as that sounds, i swear on my lifes existence it helps, it will make you smile, and when you smile lacey remember thats the only thing on earth thats truely for real is you feeling happy. please give me a message anytime, i would love to know you heard from me because you knew someone out there cared for you :smile:

    -The world could always use a little more green-
    Andrew Green (Bud Leaf)
  5. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    I'm not sure I can help, but the way you described your situation, is exactly the way I have it. I've decided never to talk about my depression or suicidal thoughts in "real life," anymore, since nobody understands or wants to listen, anyway. And really, they can't help me, anyway.

    Maybe I could talk to you, but I've had serious problems getting my new computer to run. I'm posting this on my mobile, so I'd have to get an instant messenger program for it, in that case... I've intended to, anyway.
  6. Deathly Strike

    Deathly Strike Well-Known Member

    We're always here to help. If you ever have a problem and need some advice then I can try my best to help you through PM.

  7. themuffinman

    themuffinman Member

    My girl friend and I broke up two nights ago because of my anger and frustration problems. lol

    The best way I handle stress is by working on cars... I love cars and I love using my hands. Plus some times it takes alot of strength to get things done on a car. Not to mention it takes my mind off things.

    Find a hobby or something you like to do that will take your mind off things.
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