Hey all, I've been on this forum before under another user name. I just made this account so that if my other user name is searched, these posts won't show up on google. I'm 18 and a male in high school. Well...I feel really numb right now. I don't know where to start. I know suicide is a bad thing and so is self-harm, but I really don't care. I'm not in the mood right now to just go die. I just feel really really neutral. No emotion at all. I'm on some medication (prednisone) and I suspect that is playing with my feelings a little. Let me get to the point. I'm not happy. I don't know why, but I'm just not happy. I've been loosing the friends I cared about and been loosing the ones I thought cared about me. I'm sick physically (ulcerative colitis) and mentally, I'm just hanging in there I guess. I also don't know what makes me happy anymore. I'm so drained.... I'm not in any pain, like excessive stress or what not, so I don't know why I feel this way. I feel like it's not a big deal if I were just to die peacefully. I want to start over. I believe in an afterlife. I just want to reset.... Talking to other people really hasn't helped much. I don't want to be loaded up on anti-depressants either.