Scared that I will never feel okay again. Or worse, that I will feel okay and excited for a minute, and then my head will remind me of all that is going wrong right now, of all I've lost, of all my failures, and lead me right back into reminders about how worthless I am. And how hopeless this all really is. I hate my life. So many years have passed. I've lost everything. I'm alone. And I'm scared.