I'm so sick

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Matt93, Oct 17, 2010.

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  1. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    I'm slipping away,
    I know that you're so scared.
    I'm so sorry now,
    I know I can't keep holding on.
    I don't feel like I'm accepted with you any more,
    I can't shake the feeling that you don't love me.
    I'm so sick of trying to hold on,
    I'm so sick of you telling me to hold on.
    I just don't want to hold on anymore.
    I can't physically keep fighting no matter how much you tell me to.
    I'm not as strong as you thought that I was.
    I'm not as great as you thought I was.
    I know you get so scared when I go blank,
    I know it hurts to see me like that.
    I just don't care anymore.
    I do know that I have feelings for you.
    I just want you to know that,
    I have left this world thinking of you.
    I just want you to know this is not your fault.
    I can tell you that this was inevitable.
    I told you that this day would come,
    I can't be saved any more.
    I don't think I want to be.
    I just want you to know that,
    I'm sorry it had to be this way.
    I know you don't want to go on without me,
    I know that but,
    I think that you're going to have to now.

    It's all about me okay, just look at it. Everything is "I", "I", and I'm sorry.
    I do care about you so much but I'm starting to feel like you don't.
    I know you can go on without me, so this is my final goodbye.

    I just want you to promise,
    Don't ever forget me.

    My life is just spiralling out of control here. In love, wishing I could give what they want, a kid. I'm 16, and there's other reasons I can't, which I'm not sharing.

    I love her so much, but the story of my life is, that I've fought for so long, my strength has evaporated.

  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    matt please don't go..tell us whats wrong...
    get yourself some help....get to a doctor / hospital straight away....call emergency...
    you are so young and you have someone to fight for....
    are you on meds?..do they need adjusting?
    please try everything possible before you go...what have you got to lose by trying?
    I lost a son to suicide and the people you leave behind will die with you..
    I care
  3. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    No-one cares any more. I am on meds, they're new(ish)

    I don't want any help, the only reason I'm still here is because I don't know how to do it.

    I just want to die.
  4. DragonSong

    DragonSong Well-Known Member

    please stay Matt..more people care than you can see or feel right now..trust me..I know..You are so young and have a long life ahead that will get better for you..there is no quick fix for mental health..it takes time I wont say patience as we know we dont have much when we feel so bad...there is hope for you..medication takes tome to start working to where you will start to feel anything but you have to fight...if they are not working for you talk to your doctor and ask him other options for you...your still here and you are wanted wether you feel it or not..seek help from someone..you are worth it...your life is precious and priceless....my prayers are with you my friend..I hope you will get some help
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