I'm so stupid.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by 5150incalif, Sep 7, 2007.

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  1. 5150incalif

    5150incalif Member

    I'm so tired. I can't even get it right. I tried to apply ten pain patches on at once but I got sick. All I needed to do was go to sleep and it would have been done. I thought I would just got to sleep and my heart will stop, but I didn't take any sleep medications (I have a sleep disorder and I need meds). After a couple of hours, I get really sick and took the patches off. I'm so sick that I've failed again. All I needed to do was to take sleep meds and I wouldn't be here. I used all my pain patches and I don't have another chance. This was my best shot at a painless suicide and I blew it. STUPID!

    This was third attempt and I don't feel like I lucky. I will need to go to plan B and not worry that or who finds me. This can't just go on. I'm certain that I will get lucky soon. I just want all this crap to stop. Something gotta go right. I haven't done anything to anyone. I just want to get out of this sickening life. I don't cry out for help, in fact no one knows that I'm suicidal. I want it that way. I will leave a note so that they don't need to try to find who did this.
  2. pisces-music-girl

    pisces-music-girl Well-Known Member

    Oh, honey. :hug:

    I've never tried to kill myself (yet, anyway) but I can offer advice. I know what you mean about not crying out for the help- I'm the same way. I laughed help in the face today.

    The only thing I can say is seek help. SF can only help so much; none of us are professionals. And while you're seeking help, hang on tight. One day all this bullshit will end, and we'll be free.

    I'm here if you need to talk. PM me if you need to.

    Hang on. :hug:
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