I have taken lots of antidepressants, tried anti psychotics, therapy, CBT, and still feel like I am always at the bottom of a pit. I know all the "correct" ways to think and that you should surround yourself with happy, loving, caring people. What happens if everyone around you, your family, spouse, kids, siblings are the ones that keep dragging you back? Since it's everyone around me that must mean the problem is me. The only way to put distance between me and the people who cause me the stress is to run away or die. I am not worth anyone else changing so why can't I just find a way to end it and the courage to finish the job? Why do I have to keep failing at everything? Can't talk honestly with anyone here, no one understands and just gives me stupid platitudes. It's not going to get better, I won't snap out of it and I am alone. Should have never been born.