I'm so ugly

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by nanashikun, Nov 17, 2010.

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  1. nanashikun

    nanashikun Member

    Hello all,

    I've been depressed for a very long time. I thought it was gone, but lately it's all come flooding back to me--I just feel worthless and ugly. I'm a conglomeration of everything bad that's ever existed. I'm ugly, selfish, mean, stupid, bitter, hypocritical, petty, ignorant, inconsiderate, greedy, shallow, ungrateful, untalented, useless, apathetic, lazy... just absolutely everything bad. Today I felt so miserable I started cutting myself again. I feel like there's no point in living life. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. I wish I could just go to sleep....
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is a hard place to be in when all those negative words come back into play. You are none of those things you said You are sick yes ill you are tired and need some help to heal. I hope you can reach out and get some therapy to make those negative words change to more positive okay Maybe call gp and get on some medication or change the one you are on Try to do one thing just for you okay one thing that will take that edge off the sadness and pain you are feeling. Just for you okay. Keep posting here as well vent it out all of it but know you are deserving of peace okay so please get some help for you
  3. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    It sounds to me like someone (your partents? other family?) have been giving you negative messages about yourself, and you have heard them so often that you have internalized them.

    Some therapy might help you with this.

    The world can be really incredibly unfair sometimes, and it seem like it has been unfair to you.

    I hope that you feel better soon!!!!
  4. BornAgain

    BornAgain Well-Known Member

    I think that you are a wonderful human being!!! , it's ok to feel sad sometimes :).

    Will be praying for you to feel better.
  5. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    Well you certainly know how to write, so that's one thing you can do.
    You're not absolutely everything bad either. If you were then the words 'murdering/raping/abusing/racist/bigoted/warmongering' and many other such words would be on your list. In fact as lists of bad things go, you pretty much sound like the average depressed person. That's not a bad person, it's a depressed person.
    You've hit a 'dip' and are probably heading for crisis. It's part of the illness and all the quote above is the illness speaking not you. Time to get back to the doctor and have another look at your meds (or get some meds if you're not on them)
    In the meantime, tell us what's made you so angry in the first place, what's your story? xxx
  6. Suizide

    Suizide Member

    Well, at least you aren't a murdering rapist right? I mean, there are worse people out there who SHOULD die. You sound like me, always beating yourself up and then it just becomes habitual. Depression is the hardest habit to break, I'm thinking about offing myself too but we're probably all better people than we think so try to come up with a reason to stick around. As long as we still have all of our limbs and aren't in prison, we can do anything we want, some of us just have to work harder. Life sucks most of the time, for most people, but it's those little moments of pleasure that we all live for. I am the last person that should be talking but just because I want to die doesn't make me want everyone esle to. Try writing down the pros and cons of your life and figure out how to at least balance it before you do anything. I used to cut myself as a teenager, I hate the scars now. I've been through so much sh**, I can't even begin to tell you but other people have been through more and that is what keeps me going at times. We're not the only ones....
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