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I'm so very close

Butterfly

Sim Addict
Safety & Support
SF Author
SF Supporter
#1
If it wasn't for the fact that I feel so unmotivated I would be going out to make my final attempt. As it is I'm paralysed by sadness and confined to my bed so I can't. I don't know what to do. I feel agitated because I'm literally laying in bed doing nothing to keep myself safe but the agitation is unbearable. I've taken diazepam and nothing. I don't know what to do. What do I do??? My CPN is aware of everything. I'm gonna have to tell her I can't keep myself safe anymore. I can't do this anymore.
 

ib4uib

Well-Known Member
#3
Sorry to read you are not doing so well.

I used to be in exactly the same boat for years and years.
But in the end it was something so simple that I thought which actually got me moving around again.

That one thing was 'it's not forever', I'm not going to live forever so whether I end it all now or just wait it out, either way I'm not going to be stuck here forever.
And with that I started doing simple tasks, small things that stopped me getting mind numbingly bored.

*hug10
 

Dante

In the SF doghouse with Burt
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#5
Sorry to read you are not doing so well.

I used to be in exactly the same boat for years and years.
But in the end it was something so simple that I thought which actually got me moving around again.

That one thing was 'it's not forever', I'm not going to live forever so whether I end it all now or just wait it out, either way I'm not going to be stuck here forever.
And with that I started doing simple tasks, small things that stopped me getting mind numbingly bored.

*hug10
This only reinforces the idea for me that there is often a simple answer out there that is the key to making the first real step, we always look for it and until I found one myself I thought it was just BS wishing. Hold on Butterfly, you just need a little luck on your side and the "answer" may fall into your lap, and in the meantime talk to your CPN. *sadhug *console
 
#6
You’ve reached out to us here to let us know, which is, in a way, a step towards keeping yourself safer. Keep fighting. Here for you and we really do care. You are part of the SF family and would be missed. Phone whoever you can as long as you ring someone to make sure you stay safe while you are feeling this way. Here if you need to talk. Message my in box any time. *hug Xx
 

Butterfly

Sim Addict
Safety & Support
SF Author
SF Supporter
#10
It's looking like I'm being admitted. Spoke to the pdoc on the phone whilst my CPN was there. He doesn't want to touch my meds in the community and thinks I need to go inpatient. CPN thinks I need admission to based on my behaviours I was displaying. Have a joint assessment with my CPN and crisis team tomorrow.
 

Dinolaur

Human by day, Dino by night
SF Pro
#13
It's looking like I'm being admitted. Spoke to the pdoc on the phone whilst my CPN was there. He doesn't want to touch my meds in the community and thinks I need to go inpatient. CPN thinks I need admission to based on my behaviours I was displaying. Have a joint assessment with my CPN and crisis team tomorrow.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this lexi :( I hope being admitted will give you the help you need! We love you and all wish you the best in recovering ♥️
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#15
So it's official I'm being admitted. Don't know where or when but they are finding me a bed.
Lexi, I hope they can help you get your medication sorted and illness stable and under control. We will be here rooting for you. You have fought all this way, keep going, I know just how strong and determined a woman you are. Better times lay ahead. Stay safe and in touch. 👍🎗💖
 
#16
So it's official I'm being admitted. Don't know where or when but they are finding me a bed.
Im new to this side but I’ve just read some your blog, which you should be really proud of writing as I’m sure it will a help to others. You sound like you have such a strong and caring spirit and although you are suffering now, I am sure with the help you need you will lead a life of meaning and fulfilment.
 

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