tired of the hurt. The loneliness. The neverending craving for a real hug. And the fucking shit that happens day after day. No matter how hard I try to keep my head above the blackness there is always another asshole there pushing me under. When I need someone no one seems to be there. I dont want that to sound like I'm mad at anyone. I'm only mad at myself for wishful thinking. The cutting is out of control. The thoughts are out of control. I just hope that I'm not so out of control that I jump the gun so to speak. Oh well, at the end of the day just like me, it really wont matter.