This weekend was just really disocuraging. It's bad enough that I can't get over the pain from my past, but as I continue to try to live a social life, I am trying to pick up before my alcoholism and try to work on better socializing which I have struggled with for so long. Even when I was drinking I striggled with it. All around me I see how easy it is for others to be social and connect with other epople. It can be discouraging at the least, but just really depressing and overhwelming for the most part. there is this conflict where I want to socialize more even though it's hard for me, but then i think of the past rejections....epwcially one that still hurts after six years and also just watching how easy it is for others and I just feel like giving up. i'm sorry for rambling and sorry if this didn;t make sense.