It's clear my life is not going to get any better and i am stuck with no hope. i tried to call a crisis number...i mean i am grateful that something like that exists, but often times i find it hard to talk to the other person on the line. im tired of living in a family that always hold over my head what i can't do and yet never appreciate when i do things especially for them. they want to talk about not biting the hand that feeds me, well fuck them and their hypocrisy because they sure as hell take me for granted. i am trying to move forward with my life and doing whatever i can, but that isn't enough for these apparent perfect people. to top it off, there is too much pain from the past that never stops hurting. well im sick of this one sided bullshit. i may not have my own place or a car, and i don't have a job despite that i look, but this is MY life and I am going to take it. i am tired of people hurting me and not giving a shit but giving me guilt trip after guilt trip from people. i am done and i am sorry for sounding so weak and pathetic, but i am sick of this shit.