At the recovery house that I stay at, I had a house meeting last night. The house meeting last night was....tiresome. First I had to go to this stupid meeting at the recovery house for those who are in the higher phases or graduates of the program. It was stupid and a waste of time. Basically, even though we are house seniors, we aren't supposed to tell people what to do. That means that if they do crap like have dumbass people in the house being loud late at night, that's okay because "that's where they're at" The whole meeting was contradicting and it's hard to explain all that was said except I just really am tired of being at the recovery house. When I got back to my apartment, I called a house meeting and tried to address the increase in dumbass people coming in and out of the house at all times of the day. The one housemate, who is mainly having his friends over, tried to make some excuse about how they while they are being loud and stuff, they were being sober. That's great except being loud and obnoxious and having fun at the expense of other people IS NOT recovery. He doesn't go to meetings because people do nothing but talk about negative stuff. He doesn't get it....he is coming up on six months of clean time and it's obvious he is on this pink cloud and has yet to really have his recovery tested. It's not all fun and games and I'm afraid that he may end up crashing really hard soon and it's because his "recovery" is based on acting obnoxious with a bunch of other goofy asses.
I also brought up how the house was kind of messy as after these little stupid get togethers, there are glasses and trash all over the kitchen and living room. This roommate decided to rest on his laurels and talk about the times ( a couple of times a couple of months ago) when he did a huge thorough cleaning of the apartment. That was great and I appreciated it....I am not a neat freak and I am not good at thorough cleaning However, the type of cleaning that he did was some kind of out of the blue OCD cleaning where he also kind of took it upon himself to mishandle and misplace some things in the house. He said last night that he stopped cleaning because he got tired of being a maid. I bit my tongue because I a) I never expected him to pick up after me or anyone else and b) I can relate BECAUSE I FUCKING HAVE HAD TO CLEAN UP AFTER HIM AND HIS DUMBASSHOLE FRIENDS WHO DON'T EVEN LIVE THERE!!! He doesn't seem to grasp the fact that maintaining the house doesn't mean spending the entire day disinfecting every single crevice there is....just make sure stuff like dishes and trash is kept up. Another roommate kept inking during the meeting to keep saying that he was hungry and if anyone wanted to chip in for a pizza. I be disrespectful, but I bit my tongue once again as I don't want to deal with any unnecessary confrontation. It was funny though because while he had no problem being an interrupting jackass while I was talking, but when another housemate was eating some ice, that bothered him.
Right now, I'm just tired of things and I feel really discouraged. I don't feel like I can turn to my sponsor nor the mental health system as I feel very let down by it at the moment. Sorry if this didn't make sense.